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Too Late To Notice

 

 

 

 

I never noticed
the way your face
softens when
we're together

                                       your face no longer

                                       softens when you

                                       look deep into my eyes

 

I never saw how
your rough hands
turn to velvet
when you caresse me

                                        roughness of your hands

                                        leaves burn marks

                                        when you touch me

 

I never saw that
sparkle in your eyes
when you look at me
with such desire

                                         the sparkle that once

                                         shone brightly in your eyes

                                         is a mere flicker now

 

I never knew the
warmth of your arms
could burn so deeply
into my cold, dark soul

                                          the warmth I once felt

                                          when wrapped in your arms

                                          has now turned to ice

 

I never knew that
the taste of your
inner rapture could
feed my soul for eternity

 

                                          your once sweet taste

                                          now carries a pungent,

                                          offensive aftertaste

 

 

 

Author notes

I just thought that I would try something new...

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • maculiumlad
    February 25, 2008

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    Trancular

    This is what i call trancular, image danced in open stage of blended edges in same contest. well imagined organised and flowing rythems and rythm with writer fingers painting out the deep emotion that has hidden withen for too long. great imagery. i tell yu i really enjoyed how your carried me in your heart through every painted line but still i see you doing better if you keep a face of originality. keep the pen on hand as the ink kiss the sheets


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    January 13, 2008

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    I like the dual movement of before and after in this piece smoochie. I read each part serepately and then as they appeared on the page, nicely done with this one...peace Uncle Terry


  • camus gold member
    January 13, 2008

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    Well, this is a curious piece, isn't it ? There were times when I felt that it symbolized the before and after views of one person who has become disillusioned with a former lover and has drastically altered a perspective on him but then I noticed a curiosity - the former lover no longer "softens" and the "sparkle" for him is reduced to a "flicker" so in fact this could be seen as mutual disillusionment or maybe bitterness as a consequence of beng abandoned. Either way, it was a successful and interesting portrayal of love gone wrong. camus


    • Midnight Lace
      January 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Camus, this is indeed the results of love gone wrong. And the things I started to notice before the actual break up. You are quite perceptive! Thanks for the comment!
      ~Midnight

  • LionessK Greeters member
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • Mojave Moon
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well this "something new" seems to work well, at least i liked it, i liked the form and the contrast of the stanzas, well done!

    Be well and be blessed


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmm

    Times sure can change can't they. And what we couldn't see then is so obvious now. How could we miss it. Or perhaps it wasn't there then, or at least well hidden. Nice job with this one Smooch. I like the two columns and the different colors.


    Daddy


    • Midnight Lace
      January 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, It is amazing what happens when something happens that causes one to stop and ponder the situation and examine things much more closer then prior. Thanks for stopping by!s
1 - 8 of 8