When arching casinos crumble,
bees come racing out of the hive.
The aching was in the making.
The bricks blitz the matted earth and
decadence is shattered,
the wilderness overtaking the metropolis.
The deceptive nature of sense
is to be noted.
Many blind men could mistake the
golden emergence
for the storming of the Bastille;
Just as casino men once sought all that resembled sizzling sulfur.
One must be careful to remember
that what is bee and what we seek
dwell in similar pastures.
But gold is not to blame,
alone on a cliff lies a steeple-topped manor of rustic stillness.
Gone are fat cat, white rabbit, peeking duck.
Only turtle-dee and turtle-dum remain,
heirs of the snarling winds’ unheard majesty.
The manor's insulation, peel orange, has slowly seeped out of place,
and from the outside the structure is
a skeletal example of human insulation.
Necessities cannot grow on cliffs,
and the sky seems divided on how to perceive things;
A samba sun over Havana or
a somber grey blanketing rushing seas.
Either way, it is up to bee.
Gold, green, brick, brawn;
They churn and whip
all hope and all scope.
A man sits outside a crisp cafe,
constructing Havana, Berlin, and Budapest
as fast clouds fly by.
Comments and critiques, as always, are appreciated.
I realize this work is fairly abstract and difficult to piece together, but please read and interpret carefully. I'm more than happy to do the same for your work if you wish, just ask.
Many thanks.
A contest entry
- Abstract by Lj-.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Impressive.
Your poem might be one of the most creative, well-thought and complex ones I have read so far on this website. We need abstract poetry. Nicely done, my friend.
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The poem compares the decadent gangster-prone pre-Castro Cuba with what it has become - from colorful samba to grey somber - nice play on words. It brings out interesting ideas of necessity versus what we strive for - necessity doesn't grow on cliffs - the bees seem to be reinheriting the ground - and they are hard workers. Interesting comparison of the French revolution - where men freed themselves from rulers, here they are freed from themselves - their tendancies to mix up what they need with what they desire. All hope and all scope - men want what they see.
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I like this.
Although I must admit I am terrible at interpretation so I didnt quite understand.
lol
But it is very good. =] -
Intrigued
I always enjoyed the abstract above all, though I have not been capable of harnessing the ability. This poem here has inspired me further. Perhaps you could review my attempts at poetry and give some well needed tips? -
Welcome to allpoetry
Great imagery. You use the word 'bee' perhaps you meant to use thee, and the spell checker changed it? Either or, you may want to edit that. Otherwise interesting view of what you see. Nice flow and structure.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
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Many thanks. Actually I did mean to use the word "bee," it is in tune with the abstraction of what a bee is intended to be in this poem; a synecdoche for the natural world. Regardless, thanks for the compliments.
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Deep
As I read this it brings me back to history which i love. the bee lives on without the touch od decadance. I may be wrong but this is how I see your brilliant write
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nice i like it its cool i guess lol well u should check my poems out im kindda new so yea my best one is L.O.V.E. so yea i really like your peoms.
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