Ahh.....it's Friday!
Stick the popcorn in the microwave,
turn it on high.
Out come the butter, the salt,
and don't forget the pop!
Sink back in your comfy chair
and pick up the remote.
Turn on the cable,
find something good to watch.
Look, here's a movie-
the one I wanted to rent!
It's my lucky day!
And it's just started!
--Two and one half hours later--
"Yawwwwwwwwwwwn"
Time to hit the sack-
I am just drained.
Hope I can get out of my chair- oof!
Author notes
POW contest; theme is a Friday movie night.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
750 points, ended January 17, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think of this poem? What can I do better?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What I most enjoyed about this entry is the great imagery you have. The theme is original...we all have nights like these, yet people often forget that simple, everyday moments can be just as poetically interesting as uncommon ones.
As Bear said, there are areas this could use more impact and the flow evened out. I'd most like to see some kind of power statement at the end of the poem, maybe a reason to why "Popcorn night" is so special to you, or something else on that order?
Using the “Yawn” and “oof” words bring out a nice sort of emotional response, because it’s so easy to relate to. I also thought your punctuation was well done. Be careful of using toooo many exclamation points, but this was good as it brings out that tone of excitement.
Nice job, and good luck to you!
Best wishes,
~J. -
Hi ~
*Out come(s) the butter?
Try to never begin a line with the word *And* ~
A splendid poem with lots of Imagery....but Power is lacking and your over-all Flow is crudely interrupted by your *short* thoughts ~
I like the fact that you went into detail....and I like the unusual Theme you have brought us :)
I do think there could have been more Impact....maybe by telling us about what you were watching...was it scary?....was it sad?....as you said this was a movie you wanted to rent.....but went into no mention of why ~
Not a bad piece ~
....but try to remember to always keep your writes in Poetic Verse, and never let the Reader think we are just listening to a *statement* about a certain Theme ~
:)
Let's see how it scores, and the best to you and your entry,
Bear ~
Title 9.3
Flow 8.75
Depth 9.45
Theme 10
Feelings 8.85
Grammar 7.75
Presentation 9.1
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.2
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 92.4
Not bad!
:)
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Oh, no... I was making popcorn, and I forgot to add the pop. O.O
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I LOVE popcorn...and Friday nights...
Best wishes in the contest! This week seems to be a week for foods...lol
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Haha!...God how I love Fridays
Good luck in the contest 
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My Saturday nights...bliss. Only I'm not so lucky with the movie, I would have already rented it
A great piece, very uplifting and happy. Don't forget to put POW and your theme in notes tho'...or you'll loose points 
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This was really cute, now I want some, go figure
Good luck in the contest, hope everyone else enjoyes this as much as I did
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