Flowing rhymes and stuck in time
all the world could wait,
for in this newfound love of mine,
I could now create.
All the love in the world
I could not ignore,
but now with this new website,
my world has yet another door.
I can now express my feelings
through the looking glass,
and years from now, I do know,
I will be able to look into my pasts.
Looking and searching for new ideas
upon this website's contests,
I have found to my delight
these trials meet my requests.
A contest entry
- Why Did You Join? by Riftkin.
600 points, ended January 14, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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joining AP is a wonderful way to write and have others comment on your work. I thank you for joining my contest. Riftkin
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This is a pretty good poem you have penned here
The rhyme and flow aren't too bad either.I do not think it is forced rhyming at all, it is just the rhythm is off slightly
For example, in your last stanza, you could make it flow a lot smoother and not be told it seems forced by doing something like this:
Looking and searching for new ideas
upon this site's contests,
I have found to my delight
these trials meet my requests.
But, just between you and me, there are those who will still say it sounds forced, as some aren't long winded poets(like myself)and may be running out of breath in mid sentence
All in all I enjoyed this piece and wish you the very best in the contest!
DT
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Oh awesome
Great flow of words. I'm guessing that the contest is why did you join AP?? Very good reasons if that was the case
Well done with your rhyming, although once or twice it might have seemed a bit forced, but none the less!!
Good luck in your contest
Claire xx
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