"I love you" - his words ring loud in my head,
over and over
Three darling words
For a few minutes, I was in uttttttter bliss
My heart's cracks were healing
But...
But, the kindness he shows me is so unusual
[yet oh so beautiful]
For years he's always been the same: wonderful
Everyone else has been so cruel
I'm so used to hearing "fuck off" and "you're worthless"
That's all I know
Receiving love is like getting cancer
I've waited for him to say ily, but now that he has...
I don't like it... he scares me
He has awakened something inside of me
that I've never felt... [it's frightening]
It's like free-falling, and I know [absolutely know] that he'll catch me
But I won't let go of the fear ([intelligence]) that is keeping
my feet firmly on the ground
I trust him, and that's what scares me
I guess I'd prefer being treated like shit, than be respected
Fists are how I accept love because I know I don't deserve better
[I remember that every morning I try to
cover up the scars}
So I love you,
but I don't deserve you



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