the fog lifts
briefly
romance is my
middle name
under a
crowded sky
in my hands
you were clay
grace -
pure, surprised
happenstance
Author notes
23
this one is my favourite... just beautiful. i think i'll make it my background.
A contest entry
- movement inside the grey - 1/2 hour by Cat.
500 points, ended January 11, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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As is the case in some contest poems, knowing the prompt makes all the difference in understanding the work. You did well within the limits that were set. I enjoyed it!
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this is so beautiful.
keep up the writing
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"under a
crowded sky
in my hands
you were clay
grace"
Clay grace - I love that. The idea of being able to so easily mould such a thing. A nice piece
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wow. your words fell on like cookie crumbles. excellent expression used. well done. thanks for enterung. good luck!
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yeah. definitely better.. amazing the change a couple words can make.. now the piece reads with a subtlety it didnt have before
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Fun image here. I like the idea of clay grace, oxymoronic kind of, but interesting.
Good luck in the contest.
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there is something about the words suddenly and happiness that are throwing me off.. i almost think it reads too cartoonish.. i wonder if an "and" would replace suddenly and make the entire piece sound "more real"
gosh, it sounds like i dont like it and that is not what i mean.. i do like this..
except that..
i like clay and grace too.. -
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that's why it's easier with more words!! haha. this is such a challenge for me. i see what you mean about suddenly. hmn. i have an idea. ... now to see if it works
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