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My Borderline Personality Disorder

My puzzle was once complete you know,
Full of life, happiness, innocence, color...

Yet unexpected events fragmented my picture,

And what once was flawless became rigid.

 

The pieces of my perfect puzzle started to shift,

Some went missing and have never been recovered,

Others scarred and aged so, falling apart as you touch them.

What has happened to this masterpiece now in disarray?

 

How do you solve a mystery that you don't want to find?

Where do you go when the truth taunts you, chases you...

And you have no where to run away, to abandon, or dismiss?

How do you move on? When you never wanted to deal?

 

When you lose pieces of a puzzle, you throw it out.

Its unvaluable, you can never make a whole puzzle again,

So why do we expect a human who loses pieces of themselves...

To ever be whole, complete, and the same again?

 

....You can't.

Author notes

A month ago I was diagnoised with Borderline Personality Disorder, its hard to deal with the fact that I have no sense of normal reaction to anger and my emotions, and that I may have to take meds all my life.

I'm use to being independant, so, in order to cope with my disorder, I do what I do best and write about it!

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Endeavor gold member
    May 30, 2008

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    Well Done


    How do you solve a mystery that you don't want to find?
    Where do you go when the truth taunts you, chases you...
    And you have no where to run away, to abandon, or dismiss?
    How do you move on? When you never wanted to deal?


    This is very powerful
    Your thoughts are very telling
    yet you are blessed to have made these words

    This is sometimes an over dignosed syndrone
    like the latest fad, in the ladies department
    and it is still debated, in the merits of meds

    I would want to seek a Behavorist Psy. and know more
    I think you are coragious to seek improvement

    Write or journal to find reliefe and aid peace

    Well said

    Rick


  • ForbiddenDesires
    January 14, 2008
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    This is a good piece like always... I didnt tell you I am seing a siecietrist or how ever you spell it... I been diagnosed with BPD along with ADHD and someother bullshit. In fact supposed to be starting mew meds today yippy. is if lithium isnt enough well love you girl!


  • EveJustWantedToKnow
    January 12, 2008

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    Get a second opinion. Half of the people diganosed with BPD don't actually have it, so I'd double check if I were you, even if that just means looking up the DSM qualifications yourself.


  • TornAsunder
    January 12, 2008

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    You've got all your pieces

    You still have all the pieces to your puzzle baby. Some may be hidden, some faded, maybe broken, but we'll put you back together. As long as it take I'm here for you, we'll work on your puzzle until you're whole again. After all that I just wanted to say I loved you poem. I always love your poems, and this is one of your best.

    I love you baby, never stop writing.
    :-*
    T.B.


  • ShadyLass silver member
    January 11, 2008

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    I suffer from major depression, panic disorder, and many other forms of anxiety disorders and I'm on meds for the rest of my life. One of the things that helped me the most was to learn as much about it as is possible, it made me feel like I wasn't alone and going crazy. Also therapy can help in a lot of cases, if you find a good therapist. Also having family and friends you can trust and talk to helps. Also it's not a death sentence, or at least that's what I first believed when I was diagnosed, I have every faith in you that you'll get through this, I only say this because I know at many low points in my life I've always found light, I've always found my way, and you will too. If you ever need me I'm here. Beatifully expressed poem.
    ~Amanda~


  • EidolonDesires
    January 11, 2008

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    this is very good sara, i always love your work, and u know what, i'm on meds for the rest of my life so join the club we can be crazy together I love you dorkface. Cheer up.
    always,
    Chris

  • Tecohe
    January 11, 2008

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    Great description of that D/O

    The poem is great but your conclusion may be premature. Look into alternative methods of treating your disorder while you continue to take your meds. Don't stop searching until you are totally tired. Learn all you can about your diagnosis which is not the same as learning about YOU.
    Best to you,
    tecohe

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