If my life lies in my blood,
then you must flow through my veins.
If my existence is a fire,
it was your touch that fanned the flames.
And every shard of destiny
upon which I carve my fate
will be made whole inside of you
if I can only wait.
I'm sliding through your essence,
and I'm swinging from the noose
of my masochistic passion,
but the rope has gotten loose.
And when you say you love me,
I pray you understand
that if trust is our foundation,
then it lies on shifting sand.
If my life lies in my blood,
then only time can staunch this flow.
My existence is a dying fire,
exstinguished, unless I let you go.
And each cruel twist of destiny--
all your lies can't seal my fate.
Someday I'll be whole in spite of you
If I can learn to wait.
As I skate across your surface,
I pray that I'll fall through,
for my greatest consolation
would be to drown inside of you.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4138971
A contest entry
- 26 to 30 ages enter your best prewrite Judged by RedwingSpirit.
700 points, ended January 18, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Writers & Poets Alike....! by B Chandler.
1050 points, ended January 29, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥♥♥♥ Love me, or Love me not... ♥♥♥♥ by Rebekah-Ann.
385 points, ended February 14, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - L.O.V.E!!!! by Condemd RyeZing.
555 points, ended February 27, 2008, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite For... HM winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
475 points, ended April 7, 2008, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Muted Swan (ALLOWING PREWRITES) by sanity.
950 points, ended April 8, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Lovers Only by sorries.
700 points, ended April 25, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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OH!
What a passionate poem you have penned... 
Makes the reader feet the hearts and flowers most wonderfully.
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I just love the last stanza of this write. Drowning inside of you. Great write you have here. And congrats on these trophies. And thanks for entering it into my contest.
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This was an absolutely amazing write. I adore the flow, because it was immaculate, and the rhymes you chose were unique, but great
I can say with assured certainty that I loved this poem.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
This is by far the best poem I have ever read in my life! Maybe because I can relate completely to it, or it's the way it flows so magnificently. Great work. I love the emotion and the imagery. Fabulous job.
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'And when you say you love me,
I pray you understand
that if trust is our foundation,
then it lies on shifting sand.'
I love that!
I usually don't like rhyming poems,
but the flow was nice
and I loved it! NICE WRITE
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This was very well written. If I could applaud a hundred times, I would! I LOVE the imagery in this. And it's something I can deeply relate to! Keep on penning!
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Amazing! Simply amazing! I'm honestly stunned by this peace!
You have some true talent in that brain of yours! Do keep up the stunning work! 
Blessed be!
~Winter~
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OMG!
This is amazing! holy hell! Wow... this is such a great love poem! Are you sure you've never written one before? Your metaphorical style is beautiful and I am really impressed with your ability and I look forward to seeing more of your work!
Bravo! And write on 'cause you rock!
The Famous Reese Bailey
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Great
I liked the feeling shown here. Very well written!
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Wonderful write. Great job.
~Oka/KC -
A beautiful poem, stunning wording, smooth flow and well rhymed. I particularly like the metaphor in the last stanza and it finishes the poem on a strong emotional note. Good luck in the contest.
alby
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good
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VERY POWERFUL
love ya -
the essence of being in love..... this is a very emotional piece and i loved it...... thank you so much for entering..... good luck.... hugs and love Linda xxxxx
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nice work you have here. thank you for entering my contest.
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When someone truly is your life and soul, your shining star and everything you live for, you know that you are in love with them. - quote by me
so true.
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This poem showed a lot of emotion and I loved that about it. The flow was wonderful and the rhyme was in no way forced. Welcome to the finalists list.
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This was a nice write. It showed a lot of your emotion and really expressed your love well. Well done and good luck in the contest
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The flow was amazing. The rhyme was amazing. It's just a beautiful poem. nicely done. Thanks for entering.
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Another powerful poem you have here and the perfect rhyme really adds to that It flows very fluently and naturally - something I don't see that often in rhyming poems
Leander -
Okay first of all, excellent use of rhyme. Hardly anyone ever rhymes effectively but you KNOW how to rhyme so great job on that. However, I thought your first stanza was full of cliches: "you...flow through my veins", "existence is a fire", "fanned the flames", "shard of destiny", those are all overused in poetry and didn't give your piece a good start. BUT you quickly made up for this by adding a very original next stanza with lines such as "sliding through your essence", "it lies on shifting sands". That's just what I think, good luck in the contest!
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I got only one word for you regarding this write ~ WOW ~ I really liked it ~ Start to finish ~ it was strong powerful yet so profound ~ NICE JOB ~
Thanks for entering the "Set the bar" contest ~ I really appreciate you sharing your work with me ~ good luck
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I loved this poem so very much!
I really think your talent is amazing...
Thank you again for this beautiful entry! -
I have read your verse
Thank you so much for submitting your words to my contest
I will comment in detail on my final selections
I wish you well in the contest
Thank you
Rick
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Addict Here!!
I have become addicted to your poetry !!
Click Link---> http://allpoetry.com/poem/3878981
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Very good write! I enjoyed the imagery and well even though alittle dark still very well written of life and love.
Goodluck
~Lisa~
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Some good imagery here and a prety well constructed poem, hope we will see you in the Finale
Jeff and Sue
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Great write. Thank you so much for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Very nice...I like all the imagery. I can picture your emotions in my mind's eye. I particularly enjoyed the second stanza.
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Nice poem, don't for get to pick the title for the e-book, put it in your authors notes.
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Nice piece. It would be interesting to know which title this was based on. It completes the cycle from start to a disadvantaged ending.Thank you for your entry.
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Excellent work penned here this is great Thank you for taking the time to enter this poem int my contest. I wish you the best of luck
redwingspirit
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wow this is just simply amazing. all i can say is wow and that i have to agree with jin; its just wonderful
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Holy freakin-wow. Feature this. Enter this into every contest you can find, it's fantastic!
I loved line #'s 9-16, 25-28 the most. Honestly though, it's just wonderful.
Enough said,
Jin
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If my life lies in my blood,
then you must flow through my veins.
WOW i REALLY love this line.. so POWERFUL.
Love the poem!
really flowing. .I enjoyed it alot!!
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Wow. That was really amazing. I absolutely loved it. It was well worded and amzing. It flowed perfectly and was just.... wow. Oaky, that's all i can say. WOW...
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You might be new to AP, but I can definitely tell you're not new to writing. This was amazing! One of best rhyming poems I've read in a while- the flow was simply perfect. Thanks for sharing and welcome to AP!
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This was very good. Excellent flow and rhythm. None of the rhyming feels forced.
You tell the story of many, who love noy caring about the consequences but only caring for the moment.
Adding your comment:
1 - 38 of 38
