four heavy kinetic beads hit the planet at an angle
making it spin faster
then 2 more at an angle
More kinetics followed bashing up the crust
for free energy
2 seconds of screams from tiny things that lived there
and the work began
Dozens of maser arrays baked the planet
or rather what was a planet
kinetics and spin and seperating gasses
its exciting and its fun
the metal hydrogen in jupiter and saturn
meant everyone was going to be rich.
10 planets to be melted into computronium
and exotic matter left over.
as kicks and extras
the find of an eon
an uninhabited system of ten planets and
exotic metal hydrogen.
all in one place.
beautiful neatly laticed platforms of computronium
300 miles long and Oh so pretty
such wealth for so few alien(and one human)
prospectors who had bet on strange artifacts
what a find and such excitement.
"wave bye bye to the silly humans"
the only human aboard hugged his cat.
and they waved bye bye.
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry Contest by Romily.
365 points, ended January 25, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"wave bye bye to the silly humans"
the only human aboard hugged his cat.
and they waved bye bye.
suits the dark imagery...
A great work in this contest. Interesting as well.
best of luck.
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thanks I intended it to be dark lol,fear not alien weapons but fear construction equiptment lol
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This was so unique. Ive never read any style quite like this before. It was fast-paced but at the same time, tasteful. Though it was a bit repetitive, I still got the image of an anime-esque space scene.
Anyway, you definitely have potential. All you need to work on is structure, because this poem was not aesthetically appealing at all. Under most circumstances I would not have read this mostly because there is no transition from stanza to stanza. No break to emphasize a point. No strong statement at the end to punctuate the entire subject. You should work of breaking your poems into sections so that it still flows but also separates different points. Columns of text are often unappealing despite how great they actually are.
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the style is experimental
I am trying to work out ways to use sounds and symbols of sounds to activate mental pictures and imagery as well as cue emotions around such images.I am a student of hypnosis and paradigm shifts and my still needful work here is an effort towards this end .
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very interesting, cant say ive ever seen anything quite like it before. I sure hope this doesn't happen. we may be silly, but we have such potential.
Keep up the good work..........
Creatress
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humans need to recheck themselves.kings become kings because they devalue life and embrace their own priviledged existance above all others. such beings are called psychopaths at ground level. humans should note the worst have risen to the top.scientists want to discover stuff not build atomic weapons and regular folks want to have barbecues and play with their kids rather than become martyrs of patriotic sacrifice. I think we would all get along if the psychos let us.
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indeed! may the meek inherit the earth!
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