There's a pebble in your shoe
I saw sneak in
and bring a friend
who wanted nothing more
than to rest for a moment
so that he could stop chasing you
away from something distant
and so mysterious
that he couldn't tell the pebble
but he could tell her.
Take a moment to take him from your shoe,
stop looking at the world,
look within.
You took the pebble out from between your soul
and your foot,
and took your hand off the wheel,
Death is a strange thing.
Author notes
This was a fun contest!
A contest entry
- Free Verse, No Line Limits, Subject - TIME... by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended January 15, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
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I really enjoyed the way the first stanza kept spinning from line to line without a break, shifting from one idea fluidly to the next and then to the next within a single sentence. It made for a certain breathlessness that in turn impelled me further into the poem. then the gradually diminishing stanzas--three lines, two, one, one--slowing everything down until the final, cryptic phrase. A good deal made from a simple pebble...and a simple-seeming poem that really is not. Very well done indeed.
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Very abstract piece that I quite enjoyed. Hugs, Bunny
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