Self Esteem

I like the colors of the clothes,
the blurry resonance of the blaring melody
lost in transmission,
I like the sleepy blue screen,
the smell of the sakura,
I like my makeshift spaces.
I like my hair
fire-like
the way I've been behaving.
I like the stars and I like dreaming.
the night, the mystery, the comfort of wonder.

I dream of the black ocean,
the one wonder left
a blissless ponder.
the fireworks shattered my chest,
the ashes falling over me.
I drank in the embers
high above me
rapturously--

the feel of my favorite words,
satisfying in my fingers and my eyes,
Are never you.
My soul recoils as you move closer--
Persistently
I feel my mind sliding, I feel my eyes haze,
the emotional blanks filled with chocolate,
my bursting, unemboldened
rug of a heart.

but I like the twilight rims of my glasses,
and I like the colors of what I write.
I like the way that I've been deepened.
my thank you's start to seep
as I acknowledge a newborn something beautiful
inside myself.
take a torch to proud leftover pillar
in the muck of my love,
aim at my own nebula
and move my eye of God.