Dear Diary,
I know you hear from me often. Today though, is the worst pain imaginable. My kids tried to hug me, wishing me good morning. Tears down my cheeks, from simple touching. The sunglasses I was wearing, covered my wet eyes. Both the children still witnessed the few escaped tears. I then had to return to my bed. No possible way, I could make it through the day. As I lay here in bed, my body is shaking. I can actually feel the muscles twitching and burning. As if I was literally set ablaze. I hear my kids asking if mommy is having a bad day. The tears begin to fall like a river. Oh my, a severe shooting pain through my head, here comes one of those dreaded headaches. I'm twisting, moving, trying to ease the pain in some way. The constant medication isn't touching it at all. My joints hurt, as if being crushed. My muscles feel like they are ripping. My husband just came in, when he tried to hug me I pulled away. It hurts too much, but now I hurt inside seeing the pain in his eyes. He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. I asked him to shut the light, I now sit in darkness for my head. While curled up crying and writing to you. I wish I could lead a normal life. I guess someday, I will accept I have lost control. It is, what it is. I have Lyme. I must go now, I can't see through the tears.
Author notes
This is just one day of the many, struggling Lyme disease.
A contest entry
- . by Aurora Ceres.
1000 points, ended January 20, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
My mother taught me if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all. We are not here as pros, we are here to share our art and have fun. *grin*
Comments
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I can feel your pain!
Ugh...I've FM & CFS, not Lyme, but there are many similarities. I could write something like this if I had a diary. I think writing like that would make things worse. My heartache comes through my songs & articles. Yada yada. My Mom said the same thing yours did, but ya know what? That idea is passe! Speaking the Truth in love is what makes us all grow & learn! Sometimes one need say things others don't want to hear, but there's always the chance that they'll identify with the truth at some time in the future when they can deal with it. You've my prayers dear one. Thx for being brave enugf to share this! Glad U got a trophy!
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I ache with every word the pain is so real, so now. But what are my words worth in a society that doesn't want anything to do with excruciating pain? I don't know about lyme disease, I do know the migraine pain I had for over 1.5 months from a severe sinus infection that 3 rounds of anti-biotics barely touched and 2 extra-strength Ibuprophen every 4 hrs didn't really touch. So I cannot "fully" comprehend, but I think I can somewhat or partially empathize or try to understand. Best Wishes and blessings to you and yours.
Char
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