I lay still and quiet
Aware of every place
Where our bodies meet;
Your eyelashes on my chest
Your hands on my neck
My hips against you
Feet, legs intertwined.
And I am still and quiet.
A soft silence descends
And I can hear you breathe
Your heart moves close to me
You whisper words gently
Without breaking the moment
And I don't turn from them
Though my thoughts remain unspoken
I can give no more than a smile
To tell you all the things I feel
But I have learnt to accept
That you mean those words
And if you give me time
I can learn to speak them too.
Author notes
blue azure
A contest entry
- In Bed with you .....................over 18 please by Abe 1.
430 points, ended February 3, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best, most beloved write by Austere.
2300 points, ended February 10, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This poem is breathtaking. Beautiful and very sensual. I felt a sense of calmness and serenity as I was reading this. The ending was also spectacular. The speakers tone is so soft and easy-going, and it draws me in full-heartedly.
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Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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sweet and gentle. truly beautiful.
"I can give no more than a smile
To tell you all the things I feel
But I have learnt to accept
That you mean those words
And if you give me time
I can learn to speak them too."
this is a wonderful ending. it kept with flow of the poem and ended it without creating a harsh stop. you had a smooth rhythm throughout the poem. i pictured myself and my lover napping on a white sand beach, huge, down feathered pillows beneath us and billowing curtains around us. (yes, it's kind of an unoriginal fantasy but it's pleasing all the same.)
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Wow.. I like this.... very sensual and I can feel the love within the words.... thank you for entering and good luck.
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That's really gorgeous...and I don't say that lightly. I really like the ending, and the delicacy with which the entire poem is written.
Amanda -
I like it. You have penned a write of possibilities. The love of another and maybe a future love for that person, I can relate to this and it is very interesting.
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congrats 4 de silver i luved this 1
abe -
ah new relationships & the first time
cool write
thanks 4 yr entry
abe -
An intricate piece of emotion, weaving insecurity to fascination. Nicely done. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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Outstanding
This is a sensitive poem with a disarming simplicity. I liked how you created an atmosphere and set the scene so well. This poem speaks of growing love and learning to understand other people. A fantastic poem.
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A beatiful poem of a moment of love and affection. Sometimes no words are needed to express what you feel... a smile can do the trick. I know what you mean. In time things might change... and you will be able to say those things too. Very nice.
One remark: since this poem is written in the present tense I would prefer a title in the present too.
You end your poem: "And if you give me time, I can learn to speak them too." In that sense I would prefer for a title: 'Who Knows'. But of course you have the last word.
Anna.
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