A sparkling sea; your eyes so blue,
on rose petals, fresh morning dew.
Gazing at you that's what I see,
your eyes so blue, a sparkling sea.
A million mountains, I would climb.
Tell me my love, is that a crime?
Like cascading water fountains,
I would climb a million mountains.
Your heavenly smile; pearly white,
leaves me longing day and night.
With wit and charm that so beguile,
pearly white, your heavenly smile.
This single rose, I give to you.
A sign it is, of my love true.
My words poetic, no not prose.
I give to you, this single rose.
Joyce Le Lievre
(sunny day)
© Joyce A. Le Lievre, All rights reserved
January 10, 2008
Author notes
My first attempt at this form.
Swap Quatrain :
Each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines) where the first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3 must rhyme with line 4 and so on, BUT not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent stanzas.
Rhyming patterns: AABB, CCDD, or ABAB, CDCD and so on.
The Swap Quatrain was created by Lorraine M. Kanter.
Picture courtesy of the contest: http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b185/specialStar/blue_rosea1.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- Speaking from your heart - Image prompt by m2lost24get.
800 points, ended January 12, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Like cascading water fountains,
I would climb a million mountains.
These lines were my favourite. Your poems always leave me feeling warm and fuzzy, friend! Excellent work!!
All the best,
KP
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I re-read this poem and it is fantastic! Nobody puts words to paper like you do Mummy!! This made me feel peaceful even in such a hectic world!
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I never saw this form before now but I really like it. This was wonderful. I am amazed by how you write so eloquently yet make it flow so well it is easy to read and understand. Lovely poem!
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This is the first of your work that I have read and it was beautiful. I know I will be enjoying even more of your work as I read it also.
crafty
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crafty, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me here. This was a fun form to write and the picture was an inspiration in the contest. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Very beautifully written! It seems like forever since I have read one of your poems, and it is certainly just as enjoyable as before. You tackled this form of poetry very well, and your words radiated grace. I hope to continue reading in the future. Stop by and check out some of my new work if you get the chance, my new account name is Kp.s. If I recall you are quite busy, but I hope to hear from you soon.
All the best,
KP -
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KP, OMG!!!!! Thank you for your lovely words of praise and yes it has been much too long. I see you have a new name. I don't know why I wasn't notified of the change.
I'm very happy that you enjoyed this form. It was my first attempt at it and I do want to try it again. I keep trying so many new ones. LOL 
I will get by your work and if you are interested in writing for titles I have started up a group called, Titles Are Us. There is no pressure in it and it is fun. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Wow
Wow, beautifully written. Keep up the great work.
Cheers
Terry -
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Terry, Thank you for the lovely words of praise. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. I will stop by your work again. Last time I did my comments were removed. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Wow! This is really good! I love the style. It's as delicate as the rose itself. Beautiful imagery, gorgeous words, amazing passion.
Fantastic as ever!
Well done Mommy!
xxxxx
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Kitty, Wow!!!!!!!! That's an understatement. It's so good to see you are back. Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for mommy that you always give.
This was my first attempt at a swap quatrain and it was really fun to try this. I'm very happy that my daughter likes it so much. My face lit up seeing your words. Love and hugs for you, Mom xoxoxoxoxo 
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Appalause, applause!!! Nothing like a well written Swap Quatrain. The end lines flowed very well. As a lover of roses, this even sounded great. Nicely done my friend. ~ Mykee
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Mykeeeee, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me on this. This was my first Swap Quatrain and I do love the form. I will have to try another soon. They do have a nice flow to them. I too am a lover of roses.
I'm very happy that you enjoyed this. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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well done and nice form - may oneday have to try it. when the feelings are so very strong everything seems in total bliss within our hearts. I recently lost the one i grew to have feelings for and the just the mere thought of him brought my spirit into euphoria. he was my ruby red rose. thank you for entering and many blessings always xx
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m2, Thank you for the applauses, for hosting, the HM and for your lovely words of praise to me here. I wish the very best for you and if it is right that ruby red rose will be a part of your forever. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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you know i like this, you did a fantastic job and it was a loving and strong poem, it was amazing, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Aaron, Thank you my dear friend as always for your lovely words of praise. It is so good to see you back and I hope that this new year will be healthy, happy and prosperous for you. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Thank you for the good luck wish also, I did receive an HM for it. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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This is simply marvelous. Such wonderful images from your words of rhyme. You captured the prompt most magnificently and this whole thing just flowed so soft and smooth. Excellent use of vocabulary gave it even more strength. Thank you for sharing with me and keep writing poet. seamaiden ♥
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seamaiden, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise to me here. The picture was quite inspirational and it was fun to try a new form that I believe fit well for this. Love and God bless, Joyce
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i love the picture, and the poem is spectacular!
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RoseTear, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me here. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Love and God bless, Joyce
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adorable
I liked the delicate words used in this write. Very nice, and good luck in the contest.
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DD, Thank you very much for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me here. I did receive an HM for it and I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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i love swap quatrain poetry x takes thought and effort to write so always makes me smile to read, because when its been written write it flows beautifully. and Yours certainly does just that. Beautiful. very well written thankyou for sharing
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restful, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me on my first swap quatrain attempt. It does make you think as you have to keep the rhyming along with making sure you can swap that first line of each stanza around in the fourth line. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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Oh my god its beautiful
The Goddess with the blue eyes and pearly whites moves my soul and keeps me longing how you and me feel the exact same way -
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Alpha, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me here. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece. Love and God bless, Joyce
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very awesome rhyme scheme, it just flows with the whole feeling of the poem.
good use of beguile, and great poem all around -
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Side, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me here. I'm very happy that you enjoyed my first attempt at this form. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Absolutely LOVE it.
Its So..Beautiful.
And the Rhyming is amazing!
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GlammxCore, Thank you for the applause and your lovely words of praise. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one and thank you for adding me to your favorites. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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I love learning about new forms of rhyming poetry. You have done a wonderful job with this. I think your love poems are interesting because you refuse to settle for the trite and overused words and forms. There are some poets who re-write the same poem over and over again, yet you find different ways to express your love for your husband. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Liz, As always sis I thank you for the words of praise and honesty that you always give to me. I am always looking to improve my writing skills and it helps when the feedback I get shows me things that could be bettered. We need to be versatile in our writing so that it is not the same thing over and over. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one and hope to see one from you soon. I did get an HM for this which I was very pleased as it was my first write of this form. Love and hugs, Joyce
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Beautiful
I love the first two lines. A great rhyme. I feel the third and fourth lines, though, a little weak with rhyming. See and sea may be different words, but they sounds exactly the same. Perhaps it might strengthen the stanza to consider another word? "Tell me ... a crime?" > I love how you ask the reader to contribute their opinion. It sets the mood for the poem, and it helps the reader identify with you. "cascading" > LOVE that word. Very beautiful. Used uniquely, too. "my words poetic...this single rose" > GREAT last few lines. I love how you say the words are poetic but not a prose... good flow and feel. Nicely done. -
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M a r l u x i a, Thank you for the excellent critiquing you gave to me for this my first attempt at a swap quatrain. The picture was quite an inspiration here and I never did get to edit it on those two lines you mentioned. I will still look it over as I am always looking to improve my writing skills. Your honesty is something I admire. Thank you also for the praise you gave to me as I did feel this is one of my better pieces. Still room for improvement though. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce
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EVER SO SWEET AND TOUCHING!!!!
Your heart-felt poems always reach into the deepest part of my heart. This is so beautiful!
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Kevin, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise as always. The picture prompt here was quite inspirational and got me to attempt a new form for the first time. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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