So best to join the fireball, than burn by it,
Embrace the net, than turn your back and be ensnared.
If only but to prove their fears unfound,
turn the rebound back around,
but bouncing is for balls, so let the symphony begin,
I look to you; my cries of passion, cries of pain,
you’ve heard them all.
Steadied lip and daubed brow,
the dragon pushed deep within its lair;
feel it nestle, stretch, sigh,
amidst the embers of the past,
the coals of the future,
and the heat of here and now.
A lifecycle, amidst my curdled flesh,
and so reflect - the human population in a glow.
Survival of the fittest,
and obliteration of the rest,
under grey painted urban sprawl,
but what’s a taste of our own medicine
compared for this?
Another dragon, pressing home,
pearly smoke of hazes passed,
Slash and burn,
Slash and burn.
Cut the trees and watch them writhe,
scribbled forests with their global magic marker,
‘til the flame turned flipside round and bit them back.
Treading boards of modern times,
the rise and fall of
the forsaken urban sprawl,
Taste the medicine,
The medicine,
and lies are always harsher than the truth.
Footsteps further,
footsteps… footsteps on a beach I used to know.
Castles in the sand,
skies, stars, and eyes,
yet you smothered it beneath your black-gold slime,
the darkening so crude,
and thick in dark, the fumes.
Rainbow film to shade perfection,
Slash and burn,
Slash and burn,
evolution; natures treaty?
Slash and burn,
Slash and burn,
and a stumble from the flames
into the green of natures crown.
Payday comes but once a month,
but perfection once forever.
Author notes
Think nature 2020...30...50
smothered in the slime of human destruction. would any of you cross the bridge to change that?
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round Two [Top 16] by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended January 18, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Azing. I know thats not a word but it is now. Lovely write. I am kinda lost for words because it was just amazing. "Steadied lip and daubed brow,
the dragon pushed deep within its lair;
feel it nestle, stretch, sigh,
amidst the embers of the past,
the coals of the future,
and the heat of here and now.
A lifecycle, amidst my curdled flesh,
and so reflect - the human population in a glow.
Survival of the fittest,
and obliteration of the rest,
under grey painted urban sprawl,
but what’s a taste of our own medicine
compared for this?" Wonderful write.
..<3..
Shelly :] -
I agree with the title problem, you could have gone on something different. My other issue with this is the repition doesn't work as well as I think you'd hoped it would in places. There are spots where it works and others where it just comes off as too much.
I also think that you shouldn't have to explain your piece in the authors notes, the piece should explain itself.
Good luck
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I really disliked the title as well - also the end stanza from 'Footsteps further'. I feel it's been rushed through where the rest reads careful and with a flow that balances through.
Although lengthy. I found it was an interesting write - the metaphors were strong and also the imagery stood out alot, which is always good in long writes.
The repetitiveness - a little too out there and simple but apart from that, I think this is very enthralling and worded nicely.
D.I.D
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interesting, really deep philosophically.
i'm not crazy about the title, it's rather awkward.
i think the beginning was wordy, but the ending became more focused and to the point.
i love the metaphors and imagery...
and the subtle allusions,
that remind me of the world history class i took last semester [okay, i know that was random, but the slash and burn concept and evolution concepts and stuff just reminded me of it. lol]
Well done.
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