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sanity's self preservation

some weeks are walked
wrapped in the alone

the pall that can’t be pierced
by those blind to its shroud
the cunning curse
buried

just deep enough

manifest in snide remarks
sanity’s self preservation
kept caged behind smiles
seen as genuine

when solitude allows
the guilty comfort of
absorption

a gentle rocking

barely more than breath
wrapped in the alone

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • silversoliloquysong
    January 19, 2008

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    Wow! Powerful words, complimented perfectly by your use of devices--subtle alliteration, stanza breaks that slow the reader & emphasize, a sort of cadence that shows the reader the "walk" of the first line, and the lack of capitalization and punctuation fits this piece quite well. You've drawn me in and made me stop to think and reflect, and I come away identifying, and somehow feeling less alone through your sharing of aloneness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This one's going in my bookmarks! Incredible write!


  • yael
    January 17, 2008

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    the last line is very powerful.

    i agree with your outlook on insanity and the references you make are spot on.


  • IronIcecream
    January 12, 2008
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    I hate sanity
    and everything that forces it to self preserve
    aka society/social convention


  • Cat
    January 12, 2008

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    barely more than a breath wrapped in the alone.. that is wonderful poeming right there is what that is.. it is uh huh (put billybob thornton's slingblade voice to that last line and you will appreciate my humor so much more)

    i love the subtle alliteration sprinkled generously with the u's and perfectly placed c's-
    a very nice piece jan

    i'm so glad you made your way into this contest-

    m


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    such a strong piece jan


    al


  • asymmetry
    January 10, 2008
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    this is great. i really like this.


  • secberm
    January 10, 2008
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  • Suzanne Dia
    January 10, 2008

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    Heh. I think we're all sick with the same winter illness, really. I have been smiling a lot, which should suggest to those around me that perhaps something is wrong But see, mostly people are glad not to get involved and easily sold on smiles.

    Sad truth, really.

    I like this ...I like the idea of the alone, kind of like a blanket wrapped around you. I think maybe it's a little threadworn though, you need some patches.



1 - 12 of 12