In the Ice Palace
Lisa covers the furnishings
with sheets and towels
and they cease to be what they were
to become forms
ghostly in the whiteness, still,
sitting by the cold fireside
I put them in my basket of words
shuffling others aside,
Belsen, Dachau--
that I kept for the sound inside,
she says we might return someday
over the years
and lays the lamps aside
empty now of fire
like old poets curled up in dusty books.
“Gather your things.”
...but I have only my basket
and it is not so heavy as it was
as I have used the babbling brook
and the way it used to be.
In a list
A contest entry
- Slipstream by Annalise.
375 points, ended February 2, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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"like old poets culed up in dusty books." "basket of words" "ghostly in the whiteness" such wonderful phrases captured in this poem.
End lines are superb. Poem is superb, really. A good show of slipstream, I do think.
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Nice. Pure in capturing the essence of a moment, with the seemingly trivial details given meaning... as is supposed to be the case in good writing.
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great poem, it's very different but really good, I like it a lot, well done.
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unusual
unusual write . . like "I put them in my basket of words" and "like old poets curled up in dusty books" . . good luck in the contest !
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Oh this is wonderful, brilliant poetry. But then you already know that. What I love in particular is the personal tone. It's very affecting and though simple, the poem works on a number of levels because of that personal, emotional depth.
Great work indeed, but this poem needs no further applause from me, it already has 44! How about three smiles instead? 
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This is insghtful writing
I just loved --
she says we might return someday
over the years
and lays the lamps aside
empty now of fire
like old poets curled up in dusty books.
Well done and the best of luck with the contest you have it in
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This piece seems very haunting to me. You did a super job here. My favorite part is:
"she says we might return someday
over the years
and lays the lamps aside
empty now of fire
like old poets curled up in dusty books."
I love this one.
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nice, its really well written, it gives you certain images in your mind
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really good imagery, love it =)
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Thought Provoking
What I got from reading this piece was a lover once having direction then loosing her place all at one time. Almost a longing in this write for the once was and what use to be.
The one line the got me: "Gather your things." Those words are always said in such a low and maddening tone. I could almost hear it being said.
Thank you for sharing this!
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Interesting...I say this because although I am, admittedly having a hard time with discovering teh absolute MEANING of this poem, there is still something that draws me to it...somthing that seems to whisper directly to me. It is like staring at a Picasso or a Matisse...I haven't got a clue what the painting is actually OF, but theres something about it...
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wow! this is a wonderful poem, very picturisque ( sorry i believe i spelled it wrong ) but your poem just takes hold of the reader and shallows them into it's story.
wonderful!
stephanie
=) -
You have penned a very beautiful poem. Your words tell of a bygone time in a sad yet peaceful way. This was a pleasure to read this morning. Takes me back in time. Excellent write with great imagery.You take care, Sandy
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The imagery in this peace is really felt and it leaves you with chills at the end when you're done reading it. Well done, and the best of luck in the contest!
Kari
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gather your things
sends shivers down my spine
I hate those words
they're always
adressed to someone not ready to leave
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This is a great poem. It makes me feel like you were in love when you wrote this poem. Keep up the great work.
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I really liked this piece. It's so creative on it's own. I was curious, so I checked the contest to see if there was a picture or something you were going off. Let me just say I was impressed that this piece was wholely and uniquely yours. It's beautiful. Great poetry and imagery.
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It's really thought prevoking. I love the words you chose like "babbling brook" just words that most wouldn't use, that really made an impact. It's really well done.
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great, a sure winner.
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This is a very special Lute.
The setting makes me feel the chill, yet the warmth of love in deserted places, put away places, places and things that are waiting to be rediscovered under the dustsheets like the land under the snow and ice will one day come into its own again.
It is a putting away for now. The words left in the basket echo, hopefully they will never need to be brought out again, other heavy words have worn thin with use.
They don't teach about what happened in Dachau and Belsen in UK schools any more for fear of offending the pupils whose cultures deny that it happened. The words must stay in the basket, but hopefully they are still there safe in the basket for other times when they will be allowed to be discussed again. I am a little disturbed by the words in the basket, it is good when there is no need to invoke things with the use of the bad heavy words, maybe not so good if they are in th ebasket because they are banned words. The basket and the covered.
This poem I shall have to bookmark. It has got under my skin.
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A beautiful piece, this was soft and even in flow and I loved reading this. Brilliant!
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A beautiful poem. You had wonderful similes, and I feel that the whole poem is a metaphor. Geez this was awesome. It just flowed so well and it all just sounded right. And it's a slow read. Not hard or complicated or confusing, but you just WANT to read it slow, because it just gently sinks into your system. I loved it. It felt good.
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There's a feeling of moving on, with a bit of regret, and even though your "basket is full", there are things left that you wish could be taken.
These lines cause me to be forlorn after reading them;
"and lays the lamps aside
empty now of fire
like old poets curled up in dusty books"
The feel of surreal is real here poet. Excellent writ. I wish you well in the comp.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Liked your use of imegry. Im sure you will do very well!!
I wish you the best of luck.
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I love the way you transform the mundane to the surreal as the course of their lives seems to diminish. The lamps and dusty books is marvelous. Best wishes.
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Liked that babbling brook alliteration, as well as lay the lamps. Great metaphors throughout this poem - liked the flow and the visuals you present here.
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Your basket is everfull. And the babbling brook talks in poems to your ears.
And Lisa will bring the flint, the striker and the fuel to light the lamp that is your heart
forever and ever.
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