Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Fine Vintage

Missing image

If I slipped between your lips...

 

   ran the silk of who I am over your tongue

 

allowed you to breathe the bounty

 

   of my bouquet

 

would you sink to your knees

 

    drinking the vintage of  my soul?
 

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36
  • Lovely

    Dear Poet,

    Thank you for entering my contest: PREWRITES
    FOR BRONZE & SILVER WINNERS, ONLY with your submission A FINE VINTAGE.

    Metaphorical. Visual. Clever. Sensual.

    Well done.

    Best wishes

    Until then
    stay

    liquid
    finalist

  • Oh wow. This is just beautiful and powerful. Like a punch to the face- in a good way. This is great. Thank you for your entry and good luck!

  • This was so simple yet beautiful.

    "ran the silk of who I am over your tongue"

    man, that was fantastic.


  • SchizoChic
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Such an impact with so few words. Very sensual. I enjoyed this read. Best of luck to you poet in this contest

  • Virgoan
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, this is beautiful.

    A succinct write.

    On a personal note, just a suggestion. Have a plain dark background(Dark blue or black) with white font and left align. Adjusting the presentation will make this piece a more delectable write above expectations.

    Your decision, my opinion.

    Keep sharing your gift.


    HENSLEY


  • Three Doves
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Forever I will. A fine vintage indeed. Although your poem is worthy of Gold I must choose Bronze and I hope I've answered your question
    Peace in light and love
    Noah


  • sassykitty
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the use of metaphor and figurative language throughout, sensual doesn't really seem to sum it up! It captures a particular time using an appropriate brevity - good luck


  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent, such soft flow and beauty in brevity...wonderful to read and I love the metaphor...
    Best to you!
    mystic


  • runewalker
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely piece. bringing the sensual succulence of food and drink into a gentle notion of other sensuality allows the imagination to drift into passion and heat


  • Legend silver member
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes what is implied is more powerful that that which is actually said This poem is a fine example of that Great


  • crazymomma
    April 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual. This is great.

  • celadia
    April 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, short , sweet, sexy.


  • TabbyCat
    April 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...this is really sensual...without being overbearing. Well done.


  • Celticmoon
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sis this is by far my favorite piece of yours!
    The flow s this screams with sensuality and passion.
    I soooo love this!
    I cannot stress that enough!
    Thank you for entering.
    Best of luck to you!

    Blessings
    Bel


  • LadyUnique silver member
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the simplicity of this is succulent
    thank you for your entry and best of luck


  • idloveaganzfeld
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The whole time these images popped into my head responding to each part I read. I have to say "drinking the vintage of my soul" could be easily misinterpreted but nonetheless it's still a fantastic poem.


  • madamcb
    January 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual but tastefully done. you imply but don't actually say. I like it. thanx, conni


  • Jehdin tal Darasin
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!
    *takes a minute to cool off*
    Very sensual, teasing and inviting. Um...we were talking about wine, weren't we? Great imagery and nice play on double interpretations!


  • my1lovewearsdiapers
    January 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is interesting and beautiful all in one I enjoyed reading this thank you for sharing you are a talented writer


  • Naridill gold member
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual. I love the simplicity and flow but feel its a little needing more - like you are just getting warmed up - but still has a very fluent and dainty effect.

    Thanks for entering.


  • SocraticMindstate
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So few words evoke so much meaning. Sometimes i think the simple statements carry the most weight.


  • Princess Peach
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great! Good luck, best of luck!


  • Jalalbad gold member
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    how sweet. good luck in contest.


  • Bedroom Eyes
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The simple elegance of this piece can't be understated. It is absolutely WONDERFUL!!!

    I adore poems that allow the reader to absorb it on many levels, and this one has it all. The ambiance, the flavor, the aroma and the mood flow effortlessly into mind & spirit...a true sign of an outstanding work of art.

    Magnificent work!

    Best of luck in the contest!!




  • Cannonsfire
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think my dear you would have them come a running lol, this is just perfect. Good Luck Love, C


  • Puppydog gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    THIS IS JUST SO LOVELY AND PASSIONATE!!!

    Only if I could find a lady who could make me feel this way and one who is around my age. This is so touching and sweet.


  • penman gold member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Very romantic and beautiful. best of luck in the contest.


  • Desire gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    Oooooooooooooooh Love the images You have brought forth along with the Heat of Your words
    to feast upon...
    HOT HOT HOT!
    Wooooooooo Hoooooooooooo

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Zing!!
    Many blessings to You in the contest Beautiful
    Best wishes always
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Loveprevails
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I am blown away by your talent Such a sensual piece, very enticing! Bravo to you and good luck the contest this one has winner written all over it!


  • WisdomWarrior
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... um... wow.


  • tarcus
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I would be drunk on the beauty of you'r words alone


  • tomisb
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of your more rapturous pieces. Quickly and incisively you present the reader with a wash of sensations and flavors. Beautifully done.
    Love, Tom B.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BREATH TAKING

    Smooth as silk and just as tasty...would you sink to your knees drinking the vintage of my soul...sighs...forplay for the tongue   winner wrote all over it


  • StarEyes
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SIGH!!!!!!

    Oh My!!! What a great read!! This melts one's heart and makes them feel just wonderful!!! I love this!!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful!!!!! Such a comparison is awesome.
    Great job..Good luck in the contest.
    Soulful Woman


  • nike gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. Short and to the point.
    Very nice comparison of sampling wine and the sampling of another. I am one who believes that woman are like fine wines and they only get better with age.

    Keep writing.

1 - 36 of 36