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Time To Go


Enclosed and burrowed deep inside,
cocooned maggots begin to hatch.
Scratching and wriggling, worming away,
making room for the next new batch.

Blood congealed, long since dried,
your body broken and beaten.
Nothing more than a mere carcass,
a dinner that's half eaten.

An old tarnished silver trolley sits,
forgotten in space and time.
Dusty blood stained hunting knifes,
used to torture your body and mind.

Reflections shattered, ground to dust,
foggy memories form a thick mist.
Hung, drawn and quartered, twice,
you were the first in a VERY long list.

Deep welts from a razor whip,
teeth extracted one by one.
Cuts turned to deep stab wounds,
tortured in the name of fun.

Your death was one of horror,
your blood drained so very slow.
Lingering on in untold agony,
until it was time for you to go.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt; Dark. I decided to do an 'after death' attempt instead of the usual blood and gore of dying...let me know what you think....

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Stormy Days
    January 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it imageryy is very good nice choice of words thanks for entering


  • Aventura
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Overall I liked this.

    The imagery was very good, especially in the first stanza. A couple lines were awkward, "An old tarnished silver trolley sits" and "used to torture your body and mind" has one extra syllable but nothing major. Nice word choice, nothing really stands out.

    It's a nice piece, good job painting the picture of this person's death, but the emotions could always be stronger and more vivid.

    I wanna see colored ink outta your pen, get outside the descriptive mode and give me something deeper.

    Keep writing.
    Respect


  • BellaD
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    So Dark!

    If this poem were a chocolate bar, it would be 99% cocoa...SOOOOOOOOO dark!


  • PastelMoons gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm Scared
    You'd think I would
    become numb to your horrific
    themes, but they just keep getting
    better, and more frightening!!!
    You're the best!!
    Good Luck!
    ~Pastel


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    EHHHH you are the best dark writer ever this gave me chills. Good luck with it in the contest.

    Redwingspirit

  • Nighttime angel
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG, I love it.. this was so GRAPHIC, HORRIBLE, GORY and most of all DARK.. I love your poems, sis....

    I LOVE your background. it fits so well.... my favorite movie of all time. you know I think they came out with a new Hellraiser... might be wrong, but think not



    kat


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was just amazingly graphic and dark and horrible. hahah. Wonderful writing indeed. The imagery is very very powerful in this. Keep writing, this was fantastic.

    Much love
    Wayne Leon
    x


  • CherryOnTop
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So a very tasty after death one my friend...Each one gets even better that the one before if that is possibleI bet it you tried to eat the half eaten dinnerlol


  • my--i u--k i
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ewwwwwwwwwww`

    i thought i said "don't make me vomit"?
    oh whatever. lol. it's good. it'd be nice if you took out the italics though!
    edit:melikee the non-prewriteness.

1 - 14 of 14