It's closing in on me
As I fall to my bed
You're so hungry
What makes you think
You can feed on me instead?
You're right in front of me,
I know
Watching my every move
I'm trapped in the gaze
of everything there is to lose
And I know,
And I know,
If I wish hard enough
to the sky and to the stars
then I'll be free
instead of looking out prison bars
Oh,
You're right in front of me,
I know
Watching my every move
I'm trapped in the gaze
of everything there is to lose
My dreams are shattered
And all that mattered
has gone away
You've eaten it all
You're right in front of me,
I know
Watching my every move
I'm trapped in the gaze
of everything there is to lose
Reviews???
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Beautifully done!!
I really love this one, especially the chorus. Though I think that it would flow a little better if you had two or three stanzas in between each chorus rather than alternating so much. Overall a very thought provoking song.
-Garrett

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Thank you so much! That's a good idea - maybe I could try it sometime.... Glad to hear it made you think.

DAWN
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I HATE YOU!!! YOU MADE ME HUNGRY!!!
were you hungry when you wrote this?? Anyway, I am fat and thought I would be able to identify with this "SONG ATTEMPT", but turns out, I probably can not. So, ............ what kind of music would you put these lyrics to? Just wondering. If you want to make a band, I am a drummer. You could start a band easily because you already wrote some lyrics for a song. You could easily write some more, because a song is kind of like a poem, except that it is put to music. (And in some cases you can not understand what the song is about because the people are just screeming and stuff) But for some of you who like the screaming music (also known as METAL (I am guilty of liking some of it)), I did not mean to offend you. -
I think it's sounds awesome!!!!! Keep writing!


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I think this is awesome


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Wow.... It's deep. I kinda like it. I think in the second to last stanza, you could take out the are in
"And are all that mattered
Has gone away"
Just a suggestion.

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B-but... the "has gone away" is the screaming part!!
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