That Girl

That Girl
By: Rebekah Neal

She’s the girl that everyone knew.
She was happy and fun to be with.
She’d smile and laugh at nothing.
But inside, she was hurting.
The pain she felt began to build.
Nothing she tried stopped it.
Then she found a way, to make it all go away.
She scarred her body, to heal her soul.
Always  keeping it a secret.

The marks ran from her shoulder to her wrist.
Crisscrossing in every direction.
Every mark had a story, every scar a tale.
She’d cover them, hide them from prying eyes.
She’d lie, giving reason’s why.

It went on for years.
No one had a clue.
She’d pretend she was happy and everything was ok.
She’d hide the pain, then cut it all away.

Fifteen years, her body was a map.
It wasn’t until someone saw a single scar.
When that person asked “Why?” ,
She told her story and began to cry.
She shared the story and showed the scars.
The newcomer was shocked, but still she stayed.
She began to lean on her.

After a while she stopped cutting.
She’d tell her friend she was better, and everything was ok.
It never failed though, she’d think she was ok, and could handle the turns.
Then something happened and she turn back to the only way she knew.

The night her mother found out was one of the worst in her life.
They started to yell, scream and cry.
She ran into her room and picked up the blade.
Taking a moment she looked at the steel.
It was small and cold to the touch.
How could something so small give her so much control?
That was the night she decided to quit.
She couldn’t let the razor win,
not when the prize was her life.

She tossed it away and bandaged her wounds.

Did you know her secret?

          …I did…

…That girl was me…

Now another year is gone,
and I’m done with that fight.
I found the strength to win.
I’m no longer the girl that has to hurt in order to heal.

My life is still hard,
but I have people that care.
They pick me up when I start to fall.
They made me realize
I don’t have to be that girl.