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Promise Me

Snatch my flesh from the reapers grasp
Please save me from this hell at last
Nothing compares to your touch on my skin
My tears will drown you now you know I'm hurting

I have nightmares that we will never reach heaven
That even if we bleed we will not be forgiven
The blade is icy cold alike your sweet kiss
But the pain is beautiful we are entombed in bliss

Your lips taste like death
With poison laced on your breath

Bend down on your knees and promise me
God and the devil will know if it is true
Cry the last of my tears and promise me
Words locked with chains you can’t undo
Just let me see that I can believe and promise me
Just promise me you will never leave

I know that down in your chest six feet deep
There is the beating heart you gave me to keep
You said eternity say you didn’t lie
Without your worship this unneeded form will die

In your arms I can feel no more fear
Like the world itself will soon disappear
Don’t worry for my soul it will survive
As long as the flame in your eyes stays alive

Your lips taste like death
With poison laced on your breath

Bend down on your knees and promise me
God and the devil will know if it is true
Cry the last of my tears and promise me
Words locked with chains you can’t undo
Just let me see that I can believe and promise me
Just promise me you will never leave

Your lips taste like death
With poison laced on your breath
Your kiss is all I will ever need
As long as you can promise me

Bend down on your knees and promise me
God and the devil will know if it is true
Cry the last of my tears and promise me
Words locked with chains you can’t undo
Just let me see that I can believe and promise me
Just promise me you will never leave

Author notes

Dedicated to pete
My lips need your lips like a dying heart needs to beat

Lady Nightshade
dry my eyes

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • willowprincess
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very beautifully written, and you make great use of repetition. it's a little too dark for what i'm looking for, but i definitely enjoyed reading it.


  • Blooming Poet
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Promises can be an evil thing, when then are broken, the trust that was there no longer. Great poem and words


  • Alex Hex
    May 1, 2008

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    DEAR PARTICIPANT ,

    Nice write . i enjoyed reading this .

    best of luck in the contest


  • gottabesomebody
    March 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    just beautiful and powerful is all i can say very enchanting to read, great emotion


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is very raw and intense in emotion and energy and imagery

  • OurxBeginning
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece. I'll be honest, not what I was looking for, but it's deep and the emotion is strong.

    Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • xXxCry-HavocxXx
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good!!


  • LadyUnique silver member
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this reads like a song to me it shows passion and need... maybe even greed
    thank you for entering and best of luck


  • Aventura
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Um, ouch.
    The rhyme scheme was crying in agony to me. It was being tortured.
    In my opinion this poem would be MUCH more effective if it did not rhyme. This type of rhyme adds a childish touch and detracts from the content majorly. Also the repition was unnecessary.

    You wrote upwards of 40 lines; I suggest you shorten this to 15 and tell me what the fuck you're writing about instead of just writing. I want pure, concentrated emotion and this just doesn't cut it.

    Keep writing


  • my--i u--k i
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm.....i do like this.
    it could be better, though I can't place how.


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful piece though it's not quite what I asked for, wonderful work though much kudos


  • The Hidden One
    January 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Truly sarrowful, the fear, the want, and the need make this piece a very intriuging one.


  • SixStringDebauchery
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Omg I love you

    Wow. That is seriously good, I'm fact I think it's the best thing I've read by you. You just include so many of our memories had together, and it just all comes together beautifully. You've out done your self, really. This would make a GREAT song, seriously! So many things are in here about us and you just make it fit, you know? I love you more than anything could say. And I promise you, everything I said is true and I am NOT going any where.

    I love you.
    xxx

1 - 13 of 13