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Consequentially...

To heaven's creed mastery exists not
In any freely quoted pages revealed
For in bitter end everyone shall rot
With what lies beyond totally concealed

A thousand hymns could not turn existence
To a place where justice ever remains
As anything but pure vain insistence
That good and evil have separate domains

For though men's minds fashion many false gods
To survive cruelty and prove opinion
The universe shall show them all as facades
Within annihilation's dominion

 

Author notes

Stop looking at me like that.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Never Fall in Love
    February 23, 2008

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    like this?


    What can I say, I love this

    Never ♥

  • Judith Chandler
    January 22, 2008

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    Impressive. Ends on a pessimistic note. No god, annilation, though you did mentioon good and evil earlier. Actually their separateness may not be a good thing. Dualism probably makes things more difficult.

    Congrats on your gold.


  • Naridill gold member
    January 18, 2008

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    Simple - you got it, there is a lot of changes needed but too late will be the consequence.

    Nicely painted, thanks for entering.
    Much luck,

  • Judith Chandler
    January 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a good take on the prompt. I like your rhymes and it flows well.

    Bit of a downer but probably accurate. Who knows, eh?


  • Nature Song silver member
    January 9, 2008

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    To those that believe in false gods, it will come to them in the end...When they will be judged not by man but by God himself! Great poem. Good luck in your contest my friend! ~Sie

  • Liquid memories
    January 9, 2008

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    well done, though this universe did not appear on its own, but a loving, wise andd intelligent Creator made it and us and all we behold. thanks for sharing. success in the contest.


  • Gypsie Ink
    January 9, 2008
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    Incredible!

    You have it pegged to such degree, an open mind is what I see! Best of luck in the contest!!


  • Avendesora Dreamer
    January 9, 2008

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    wow...this is a stunning commentatry on what happens when people blindly follow their god...we see it everywhere and yet so few take the time to realize what they're doing when they pick a faith to follow above all others...I'm normally not one for rhyming poems, because they are often forced, but this is very well written and flows nicely....good luck in the contest!


  • alexandrathegreat
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sweet, That is some harsh words you fortell. Very true, your incite. You have fashioned some interesting ideas thank you for the read. I will ponder it for a while....


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    January 9, 2008

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    wow this is an amazing take on the prompt and just wow. it flows perfectly and i love it. well done and best of luck


  • Wulfareika
    January 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Very powerful write here! I love it!
    I think the only thing I'd have to say is that the rhyme scheme as I see it is a, b, a, b, c, d, c, d etc, except in the last stanza, the first and third end-lines don't rhyme.. but maybe that was intended

    Amazing write! Best of luck in the contest!

    • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
      January 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.
      Gods and facades are in fact perfect rhymes. They are awesome rhymes at that. Though I don't always use perfect rhymes I did in this poem.

      • Wulfareika
        January 9, 2008
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        I'm not sure I see how Gods and facades are perfect rhyme..
        Because facade is pronounced "fa-sard" and well, we all know what Gods sounds like
        Sorry I hate to be a pain and I'm definately not putting you down or anything for your skills because you're an absolutely amazing writer, this has just kind of stumped me!

        • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
          January 9, 2008

          Edit | Reply
          LOL it's alright. There is no r sound in facades. fa-sods . It is one of those words which is spelled funny.
          I looked it up in 2 different sources. Just trust me. Or go check it in AP's own rhyme finder the next you go to write a poem.

          • Wulfareika
            January 9, 2008

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            Ohhh right. At first I thought it was pronounced "fa-sades", so I looked it up and listened to one of those little pronounciation things on dictionary sites, and he definately said "fa-sards", but if AP says it's good, then it's good

            Sorry to be a bother!

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