Looking around the charring room
The heat making my skin sticky with sweat
Smoke filling my barely moving lungs
Poisoning my body slowly
Making my vision impaired with tears
Sitting in the middle of my scourching room
With my knees to my chest
The blaze making shadows on my sullen face
My eyes darkening with dread
I see the flames slowly crawling toward me
I don't run or even move, staring at it blankly
Tears evaporate before they leave my eyes
Pain slowly engulfs my body, but I dont scream
Legs and feet are blistering as painted flames climb up my body
Looking out the window in front of me, I see my family
Safe and sound; Screaming for me.
For me to run to them; to save myself
I bring my legs closer to my chest instead
Sinking my head inbetween my smoldering knees
No more tears trying to fall from my burning eyes
As these moments are my last
I look back out the window to my family
The flames completely surrounding my body
I make no sound, no movement of pain
For I welcome my end
Softly I whisper a word
One word over the roaring flames
My last gasping breath
Goodbye..
- Poets wanting comments group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Round One of Five by Kei-Aira.
450 points, ended February 5, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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that is so sad
wow this poem is so sad its amazing -
Great
Well written with lots of emotion! Great work, keep it up!
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Firstly, you spelled scorching wrong.
Beyond that, this is a nice poem, it would be better if perhaps you included some more emotions. Perhaps if you loaded the flames with meaning, comparing them to something else, some way in which the walls seem to be closing in on you.
That's just me though, I always like to have hidden meanings in poetry.
Still, it is a well written poem. -
ok. ummm well very depressing I hope you aren't suicidal. very emotional poem. well written and capturing. nice work! although saying goodbye as your last word is a tad cliché but oh well.
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This is quite an interesting presentation of your thoughts and ideas. You have done a great job here. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
Powerful!
This write was packed with emotion!,Despairing, dark and sad! Another excellent write by you! The last paragraph was very powerful! The story you tell with this poem is very tragic. But your incredible penmenship makes it a truly enjoyable read! Bravo to you!!!!
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