The glass
palate of my
wet rim serenades his
soft tongue: swirls in rose overtones,
flesh drinks.
A contest entry
- chanson: songs of love and wine by Nicolette.
900 points, ended January 20, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Here's a Billy Collins poem you might like (this poem kinda reminded me of it):
Litany
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass,
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is no way you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor that boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
Speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley,
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman’s teacup.
But don’t worry, I am not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and – somehow-
the wine.
(I used this poem as an inspiration for writing "Cords" . . . see the similarity? What's even more interesting, BC used a few lines from another poem to write this one.)
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i have no idea now what i have commented on or not but i do nto recall this poem
wet rim and fingers 
thirsty work
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thos was quite good thanks for sharing your palate with us regards zaj
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saying the word wet
you might expect
leaves me erect
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Oh my, this is truly unique and brilliant. Incredibly beautiful poetry, so romantic.
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wow..this is very very sensual...im speechless see...what a lovely cinquain you have echoed to us all...I love it! Bravo to you girl...
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thanks, Mal..
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This is a lovely cinquain, Tara and so deliciously sensual, especially "the glass palate of my wet rim" - beautiful and very creative. The syllable count is perfect, and like my co-judge I was thinking of singing crystal too while reading this poem. Lovely soft tones here and I love the "lyrics" touch at the end. You did a very fine job as this one does indeed sing.
Thank you for a beautiful entry.
~ Nicolette
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Excellent my friend
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY a.k.a VIRGOAN
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Oh My!!
I am having a margarita moment
Wonderful weaving of words to satiate the palate
The lips curl to sip and stain the Mind
with Your words~
Love this!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice!
Best wishes to You in the contest Beautiful!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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this is wonderful!
I especially love the final two lines, but as a whole, this piece is incredible...
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Such a chant of artist swimming colored invitation...lovely Ms. March
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Simply stunning. Only suggestion would be the use of the word 'fingers', little overly used in sensual piece. But still this is exquisite beauty.
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absolutely beautiful...
good luck in the contest...
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damn!
this is brilliant!
and it ain't cold! ROFLMAO!
this is so softly smokin' sensual...
I love this write, girl!
beautifully penned!
Blessings! Tammy
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snesual... omg omg omg - this one is just peerfect - what a beautiful cinquain!!!
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Delicious Imagery...
You sure know how to make
those goblets singe, I mean sing!
Dreamy & Steamy, Scribe!
~ Nicky♥
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Those then, are SOME wine glasses. Whew! This is quite good. ~Pamela
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Beautiful imagery condensed into so few words.
Bravo
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How deeply sensual... elegant in expression. Beautiful piece!
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Excellent!
Thanks for sharing, a wonderfully weaved piece sweet friend!
-Timothy
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This is almost a tongue twister
But just like classic YOU, it whispers sensuality.
I see your writing a man up again
Becky
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I think it's meant to be said aloud after drinking a bottle of wine...softly, and rhythmical in his ear...in a sexy voice...LMAO..thanks, Becky, I always write tongue twisters..I will perhaps work on it a bit..
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thanks, Becky..
yep
lol
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I think it just got a bit warmer in here...
Sensual and beautifully done! You convey so much with so few words...and the image this brought to mind made me blush a little!
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, sensual...love this,
my mother had crystal from her grandmother...paper thin..once we set it up while dusting and played..one of my best memories.
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thanks, Deb..yes, I have done this before too, it is always so much fun!!
lol
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Oh my this was something! Very sensual. So loving that it tickles. Stop that! lol Lovely dear
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Ooo, this game me goose bumps it was so good.
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This is beautiful and tastefully written... The mood through the entire poem is so sensual ...perfect imagery and lovely language!
Another amazing write!
Lynda
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killing me softly...!
Your words can shatter me... like a glass harmonica dropped from a balcony on to a cobblestone path. Sounds like a silly comment I know, but that's what jumped into my head as I read this haunting sensual poem. Beautiful! Has to win!
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great metaphors here...a good and sensual write
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reminds me of: "You are the bread and the knife, The crystal goblet and the wine..." - by Jacques Crickillon
but with lust! tk you. -by redphish
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I beg to differ with the poet who saw submissiveness within this write,I did not percieve the same but read s strong poetess unafraid to explore and appreciate and to convey via pure poetry ,even the rhyme was complete as that was the allusion, to feeling full to brimming over. A tastefully written write, your beguiling style is appreciated and adored,this is a song of love and wine as opposed to the songs of lust and whine.Kudos.
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thanks so much, Yvette, always for your wonderful, thoughtful comments...hmm...but maybe there's just a little bit of lust swirled in this poem, too..lol I did not mind Jake's comment at all, it is wonderful to see what each person sees in my poetry..lol
thank you
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!! naughty!
but seriously ..beautiful naughtiness
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The title and the cinquain work together in a very tender and rhythmical tension. Third, fourth and final line are integrated nicely, and I think of singing crystal when I approach the final line. I love the way this works. It is sensual as it can be. I enjoyed this very much.
Thank you entering this lovely poetry in the contest.
,,,Moqui -
Ohh... you are a sensual gem
Love this sweetie best of luck in the contest
Delila
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Wonderful March. This shows almost a level of submissiveness, the kind of things he commands with his fingers. Very sensual March.
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Very sensuous! This was beautifully and elegantly written. Wonderful piece.
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