Sidewalk scraping hard against my shoe,
I pause to glance
to look
to chance a moment to notice you,
But you were looking somewhere else.
I picked your books up when you dropped them,
And smiled to make you smile,
You drew notes upon your hand,
Lost in a dream
Eyes looking into Neverland.
Those books you read of magiks and might
Catch me cold and unawares
For I walked past you in the hall
And said hello
But you were deep in the depths of some Narnian dream
And I wasn't there at all.
Wake up!
Look at me!
I am no knight riding upon noble steed
I am a boy
a smile
a hello
a simple love that dares to plead...
Come away with me
Come away from that dream
that steals and takes what makes me
smile at you.
You can only dream for so long,
Before I can't smile anymore,
Before I can't stand the pain of picking up those damned books,
Before I'm gone.
Narnia,
Neverland,
Middle Earth,
Farcical daydreams pretend,
To be places of consequence with neither beginning nor end,
But no Dúnedain prince will ever love you as I do.
Author notes
CHAOS
Option 3
"it's beginning to get to me that I know more of the stars and sea than what's in your head"
A contest entry
- Fairy tales and Fantasies! by Doll Faise.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow me away by LaLaLie.
1144 points, ended September 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #39 THEME CONTEST (: by Walk-Free.
700 points, ended January 2, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Make Me Love You. Prewrites now allowed. by Condemd RyeZing.
475 points, ended March 9, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by Blue-Rose Beauty.
675 points, ended October 16, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes Rounds Contest by DancingStar.
400 points, ended October 23, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything by bunnyslasher157.
900 points, ended November 11, 102 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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One of the things I was looking for. Do you want to be part of the AP friend/family? If so what? Good luck and keep writing.
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This is a beautiful piece, really nicely written. It is very interesting to read. I liked reading it, thank you so much for entering my contest. Good luck to yo
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Hm.. very interesting. It make me think a little. Nice title and thanks for entering my contest.
I like the Narnia theme incorporated with crushing on someone. -
Very good write. loved it. thanks for entering.
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this is very cute. i absolutely love it!
"You drew notes upon your hand,
Lost in a dream
Eyes looking into Neverland."
i love the 2 types of fantasy in this poem and how you compared them.
one was the "Narnia, Neverland, Middle Earth," kind of fantasy. and the other was the being with a girl kind of fantasy.
great job and happy new year
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I lie it very much. And it most certainly goes with the prompt. Good job and good luck.
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Aww this was such a lovely write. Beautiful descriptions & nice story line.
Made for a wonderful read!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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My favorite line was 'a simple love that dares to plead'. It spoke to me. Your poem was very nicely written, thank you for entering. Good luck.
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Thank you for inspiring me to revisit this one.
I hope you find you are looking for in your contest.
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Interesting write, but which poem
Did you choose as your inspiration? -
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I just put it up in the Author's notes.
"Dreaming Fantasy" option 4. I imagined the character I set long ago for this poem looking at a girl who is thinking EXACTLY what the character in Dreaming Fantasy is thinking. The contrast was amusing and just down right too hard to avoid.
Hope this is acceptable.
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This poem
has struck a chord in my heart.
Its endearing and honest- lovely, intricately simple, and utterly sweet.
~Best Wishes!
Cordelia -
You sure sound like a night in shining armor. This poem makes me want to fly to neverland or into the journey of narna and how you relate that to love is amazing.
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I like the way this one developes down the page here and enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
I love the metaphor of fairy tales and the knight! Very good job!
Thank you for entering my contest! -
Wow. What a turn on things.
The frustration is truly daunting in the last few stanzas. I felt like every line I read was a plead. The mixture of longing and wonder and anger are so perfect, I am truly jealous. Very well done.
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I really like the concept of this poem, with the narrator offering real love rather than that in fairytales. Great job and thanks for entering my contest
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very nice
very nice write . . however, one can only dream for so long or can one?? . . like "But you were looking somewhere else" and "And I wasn't there at all" . . sometimes dreams are safer . . !!
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WOW...I'm a lover of fantasy myself! Gosh, if a guy ever said this to me...*sigh* You sure know how to romance a girl!! This is just breath taking! Wake up for goodness sakes girl!!! E-M x
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