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Before Him

His face breaks before mine
blackened like coaled emotions
tumbling over us

Still, I face him
unbreathing like glass
shielding a naked stance

09-01-08


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1 - 8 of 8
  • tara wilson gold member
    January 22, 2008

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    "coaled emotions"

    excellent word play here, and brevity, emotion, I like unbreathing like glass.

    (although unbreathing is not a real word..lol..but it works here)


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    January 18, 2008

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    You always write amazingly in so few words. I just saw a contest that would fit you perfectly..."in 20 words" but it closes tonight at 10pm (pst). Good luck in this one.

    Ted E

    PS: Thank you for adding me to your page. You're a sweetheart.


    • Mezclita
      January 20, 2008

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      Thank you Ted... u are too n glad you're recovering As for the contest, it's over by now anyway... oh well~ TC


  • oldphotosonlybringt
    January 17, 2008
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    short yet amazing i loved it

  • Mezclita
    January 10, 2008
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    Thank you Julie! This one's actually an imaginary write though inspired by real feelings (stretched reality so to speak). It sprung from certain concerns I have over my dad's situation but I made the title seem like something else so the reader could take away from it whatever they felt (since I believe relationships are essentially that... "relationships" and similar emotions exist between the people in them).

    P.S. But nothing twisted between my Dad & I ^^ just thought I'd get THAT clear!!

    <3 TC <3


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    January 9, 2008

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    Wow deep and full of feeling
    What is your heart really telling you?
    Good luck in the contest Sis
    Love and hugs x

1 - 8 of 8