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Drive

(Please read note first) 

 

 

 It’s another fight. So, I slam the door.

 

Is this what is love is for?                                  And I make the engine roar.

 

Guilt, pain and a whole lot of fear.                     A little off the clutch. I’m in first gear.

 

Who even knows how I got here.

 

There’s blood rushing through my veins.

 

I’m held down by my own chains.                                 Diving fast and changing lanes.

 

I can’t help but think of you.                                          Red lights, I just blow right through.

 

Who’s this man I’ve turned into.

 

The rain keeps pouring down.

  

I feel like I may drown.                                             And I’m racing out of town.

 

The neighbors hear, hey who knew.                           Hey look what’s coming to view.

 

Now I’m looking at a boy in blue.

 

With that mean look on his face.

 

If he only knew of my disgrace.                     “What the hell buddy, do you wanna race?”

 

Author notes

Read the center (yellow) and the left (red) first. Then read the Center (yellow) and the right (Blue).

The format of Drive was insired by a form that created by Darc Raven called "Symmetrical Antonyms." Although this piece is very different in content and format. The left side represents the emotional aspect of the piece while the right side represents the physical manifestation of the desire to escape.

I'm still working on this. So any constructive comments would be helpful.

Written January 9th, 2008 by Ringside.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Loveberry
    January 29
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    very cool writing concept! I may have to try it for myself


  • still.she.waits
    March 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like the story in this, and once you know how to read this, it flows well. it seems a little to open ended though. i want the story continued


  • eleno
    March 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    interesting.. and i like the story in it as well. -eleno


  • nobody knows me
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for entering my contest good luck x


  • Violent Glass
    February 21, 2008

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    this is really good
    i like how its written differently
    not very intense emotion but i really enjoyed reading it though
    thanx for entering


  • darkangelcutter
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hey this is good i really like this good luck and i like the uniqueiness i love it


  • Charley-
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello there and thanks for entering your poem was very good and very well written best of luck to you and thanks again for entering..


  • satan-
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this format! It's reassuring to see that there is some originality left in this world. Thanks for entering!


  • xblakxrosexremainsx
    February 14, 2008

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    this is a really nice poem.
    it has such an interesting way or being written
    and an amazing vocabulary and amazing flow!
    very beautiful
    thanks for entrying
    luck in my contest... and in the many others.


  • Fading.Heart
    February 14, 2008
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    I like the way the yellow changed meaning when you red the red and blue Thank you for entering this contest


  • love my jose luis
    February 6, 2008

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    This has a very unique layout and I really like the originality... You definately have something here... I think that it takes a lot of talent to do something like this. I really like that you had this idea for a poem, I might try it sometime, I have never seen this or even thought about this... Thank you for your entry and good luck in my contest.
    ~Maria


  • N e a r
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    BLOODY HELL.

    . . .


    My eyes have just read one of the most fantastic and outstanding poems this site has held.

    Wow.

    Thanks for entering. Good luck.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    January 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very unique and different.
    Thanks for your entry and good luck in the contest.


  • Fixing Tomorrow
    January 22, 2008
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    I like your form. It's different! I enjoyed it.


  • Pureisolation
    January 22, 2008

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    Great write, thank you so much for entering this poem in my contest. I love how well the poem fits together. I like how your poem threw me off a little bit, and i like that because it is very unique and interesting. mostly though i can realate alot to this poem...so well thanks


  • CherryOnTop
    January 20, 2008
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    This is different and unique.


  • Sia
    January 18, 2008
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    Thanks for entering!!!!

    Interesting form. It was really good and i enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest ^_^ @>}-


  • Salt Walker
    January 17, 2008

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    I love this, its a risky form to something in. nicely done, i like the blue and yellow one better, just cause i am sick of dark poems. nicely done!
    Salt


  • Dak
    January 16, 2008

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    This is the first of this form I've seen, and is quite unique. Thank you for entering, it is refreshing to read new things. :]

  • piccola silver member
    January 16, 2008

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    This has me crying, it is so sad. Fighting and then that rage inside that could lead to an uncaring death...I did find the form a bit distracting because of the coloring.


  • AutumnsFlame
    January 14, 2008

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    Hmmmmm.... this poem is interesting. I've never seen anything like this. Major propz for being unique!.... The poem was.... eh... I don't know what else to say other than that. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Naridill
    January 13, 2008

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    Clever and intriguing piece of formatted poetry. It was interesting to read it over again. Nicely done.

  • Acidanthra
    January 13, 2008

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    After reading your author's notes, I re-read your write and that was a very clever form. A multi-messaged poem is very inspirational to have the chance to read several times at once. The anger that you faced within the poem was very realistically dangerous, trust me. I enjoyed this write very much, thank you for entering.

    • Ringside
      January 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Thank you for the Bronze as well.


  • Nicotine Eyes
    January 12, 2008
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    Wow. this was..GREAT..wow..

    WOW

  • Nighttime angel
    January 11, 2008

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    I like this format. I never seen this before, which I like different forms of poetry. sometimes different is a nice change. as I was reading this, I can relate to some of this. love sometimes makes life hard. the feelings that I felt while reading this, reminded me of my past and how I dealt with being angry. leaving after having an argument, is sometimes the best course of action.

    great poem and great form

    good luck in the contest.

    kat


  • leander Moderators member
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well this is quite an interesting form you have written and I never actually saw this before, for as far as I can remember I really like it because it works with antonyms and that gives some whole different perspectives to it
    Well done!
    And the best of luck in these contests
    Leander


  • Lj-
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting format.

1 - 29 of 29