in song~
my fingers dance,
along
your
garden’s
path
fragrant, full flowered,
I sip you-
like wine.
My Traditional Cinquain
In a list
A contest entry
- chanson: songs of love and wine by Nicolette.
900 points, ended January 20, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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see - i told you this was wow!!
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Congratulations on your Silver
I do like the way you wrote this with the line breaks. Good originality, I have a problem bringing originality to form, as I don't know which will 'break' the rules.
Well written.
Buddy
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A very soft and romantic, yet very sensual cinquain you've written here, Mal - I like this, I really do (and I guess you know how much I like flower metaphors in poetry). The syllable count is perfect and I very much admire the way you've applied line breaks and pauses here and still managed to adhere to the "cinquain rules", as well as make every line stand on its own. Great work!
Thank you for this very fine entry.
~ Nicolette
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I like the rhythm of this Al. There is crisp and softness at the same time. I am a fan of cinquains and this one is well done.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY a.k.a VIRGOAN
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Thanks Hens...I love writing form poetry..
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beautiful
This is awesome -
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Thank you Chrisy
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Wow. This is a beauty. So very well done. ~Pamela
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awe thanks pammie for you girl...anyone ever tell you? you are pretty
consider it said...
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oh, Mal...a beauty. If you get thirsty let me know, lol
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I am very very thirsty...and letting you know...shall I sip from a glass...or sip you as you are?
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Oh this is pure sensual bliss you have penned.
Sigh... Well done this is beautiful.
Delila
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Thanks for the lovely comment Delila...cinquains are a beautiful form of poetry...especially the japanese traditionals...guess Im a sentimentalist...
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this is SO beautiful, and soft and it goes down the page so smoothly, what a lovely cinquain...best of luck in the contest...
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ive changed the look of this writing...but the meaning still remains...thanks for stopping by Marchie..ums fo ya...
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it's still beautiful, Mally...
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this is exquisite and soft and tender, and a wonderful metaphor ...
Thank you for entering this contest with this beautiful poetry. ,,,Moqui
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amazing!! wow this is such a beautiful chanson!! wow!
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Thank you sweetie...wishing you a Happy New year... to warm you, into a smile
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