Tears from sky fall gently on the dirt
Your breathing on my neck your hands draped on my shirt
Clouds cover heaven like silky soft cushions
Once upon a time I use to feel I was the only woman
The sun is shining down and drying the earth
It’s time I should leave now if I want self worth
I feel the breeze blowing as its crossing my face
My hearts beating fast and my feet won’t pick up the pace
I close my eyes I hear sounds of birds singing
I opened my eyes with a loud noise of my soul ripping
Insects are flying and ants are crawling on my toes
You forgot to give me your heart’s manual to transpose
The ants are drawn to me like a sticky honey pot
My body is aching my bloods boiling red hot
Their fangs are sharp as they enter my skin
My veins are pumping like a distorted mandolin
Her voice is so loud or is it rolling thunder
My defences are weak inner strength I must muster
She’s filling my head with rivers of lies and deeds
She’s playing dirty I must fight hard to succeed
It’s raining hard she has always wanted us to part
The knife is quick I don’t feel it enter my heart
Lightning striking down as it enters again
With my eyes shut I see your smile I feel no pain
A contest entry
- Give me a [ 2 ] heartbeat catastrophe {watching you love her} by CatastrophicSmile.
500 points, ended January 31, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ...and as the drug takes hold I am alone...{Come in and check it out!!} by BrokenDawn.
700 points, ended January 19, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow this is so beautiful!
"It’s raining hard she has always wanted us to part
The knife is quick I don’t feel it enter my heart"
very powerful!
Bravo!
Goodluck!!
~dawn♥ -
The title of your poem is misleading. I love the way you have written the landscape as pain. The rhythm is syncopated, hard to get away from the music, isn't it? This is very good, honesty and emotion combine to produce a picture that is purely yours.
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Thanks So Much!!
Thanks for your comment! I guess the title is misleading but I like to twist things and keep readers, listeners thinking; that's what enjoy the most about writing, is using words the create an artisitc piece. Yes it is hard to get away from the music but I guess that's what I mainly do is songwrite and now this poem has turned into a song over the weekend. I like words to flow when I'm reading them and this is proberly because I do write songs. I'm also mostly an emotional writer that does find it hard to write things that ain't but I guess thats an area I need work on. Thank you for understanding that when I described the landscape/mother nature it was used to describe my pain and emotion.
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Tammy how you perceive my poem is different to the what is actually about but thanks for your comments and encouragement.
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Welcome to allpoetry
Good imagery, very sad and depressing. Though a lot of your imagery depicts a beautiful day, the pain and torment you are going through belie the peacefullness of the day. Its amazing how our own internal turmoil can affect how we perceive the day around us. Nice flow and structure.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
When I looked at the subject of the contest for this write, I thought how perfect. If this isn't an illustration of "heartbeat catastrophe", then I don't know what is. YOu drew your reader in with your luring words and held us captivated until the last one. Best wishes in the contest. I see you're new to the site and you have already written several poems-nothing like hitting the floor with both feet running - good for you!
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wow...
A great take on the prompt and very powerful and raw! I look forward to reading more of your work! Good luck in the contest!
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WoW
Thank you for your wonderful comments, I'm glad you like it!!
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Inspired by love and the weather
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