Staring out
To the other side
Of the steamed up window
Each and every puff
Gratefully escapes
Living lungs
Humbly creeping
Cool, quiet air
Somedays out there
The revolving sphere
Is turbulent and confused
Like a giant apparatus
Sucking in and twisting
Other times it is reposing
Lingering slowly
Urging life in a line
Arguing with injustice
Persuading another day
From its surrendering womb
Still yet
It is a brave adventure
One of peril and sacrifice
Picking the right stunts
To combat the monstrosity
Every single day
Taking another original
Content and willing breath
The world suddenly does not seem
Out to swallow me whole
For God has sketched my steps
With verve and placidity
I am ready to go
Back and face my life.
Author notes
These were just some of my thoughts on life. Its a beautiful feeling when you know that you have enough courage to continue on.
- Biblical and Christian Conversation group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Give me something good and new by Horseartist7.
500 points, ended January 9, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Impress Me! by Auburn Sunrise.
1000 points, ended January 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes. by still.she.waits.
600 points, ended April 1, 2008, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any topic, Pre written or New, I don't mind by lexy23.
550 points, ended February 13, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Confliction by BlankSillhouette.
600 points, ended March 5, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you like =] by Tilted-Misschief.
550 points, ended March 6, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Different by One Angry Monkey.
600 points, ended March 13, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest by NoUseForAName.
600 points, ended March 19, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel again by lilblueeyesmine1978.
300 points, ended March 23, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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courageous and inspiration
wonderful flow
well done
God bless...
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What a wonderful poem bringing yourself up to courage to fight on. I loved this poem very much great job! Thank you fo entering the contest!
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9pts...
Thank you for your contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the HM
~Lilac
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Each new days offers different hurdles to be overcome and different situations we need to deal with. Some might not be fun bit I dread thinking about the other choice. Not ready for that yet. Thanks for sharing this poem. Good flow to these lines.
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A very unique poem. Bravo.
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Life sucks
Life sucks and then we die used to be my favorite saying. I hate to have that wonderful experience and then think in the back of my head that I have to go back to my real life. -
You've entered this in a lot of contests! I really enjoyed the second stanza's description of the world. Very unique.
Thank you for sharing this with the group.
animated
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It takes courage for alot of things. We just have to make the best of the life we have. I see this is entered in many contests. Congrats on the honorable mention.
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I would have liked to see some more imagery and vocabulary in this poem... apart from that it was beautifully conceptualised
congratulations on the honorable mention - I think this poem deserved it!
Keep writing
Polly
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i love the way that you describe the 'downside' of life without seeming whiny, and the last stanza uplifts the mood at then end. good job
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I liked the last stanza the best but the rest paled into beige for me, sorry.
I felt that this was written as a flow from the mind without much thought put into it. For a poem about the realisation of courage, to take that intial first step back into the world, I feel you could have used more powerful and emotive words to evoke these emotions to the reader.
alby -
All these poems feel like they know where I am right now. The flow is goof and would need a little more polishing. But other than that Good job.
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I'm one who often gets lost staring out the window, sometimes daydreaming, sometimes praying for strength . . . I loved the last stanza. It's just a thought, but punctuation (or perhaps a little creative spacing) would help flow and clarity somewhat, I think. The tone, though, is pleasantly serene and makes this an enjoyable piece.
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So beautifully done. I especially like the way it ends. Gives me hope It's so lovely ! Thank you for sharing. God bless!
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tis very well written but on a subject that I find hard to relate to. However it was marvelously written and relates the feeling very well.
May the stars always light your path.
DarkWind
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This was beautiful, but it didn't really make me feel anything. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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Thanks for the contest entry, apoloiges for the late reading. it should all be judged soon.
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This
is
a
great
poem.
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nice
Its really interesting. A little jumbled but thats life. You did life justics -
I like it alot
With courage and tenacity, you can overcome.
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awed
and you are correct it is a wonderful feeling knowing you have the will to continue on....a beautiful piece...it touched a sentimental chord deep in me...thank you.
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An interesting way of describing a positive attitude. I thought you put it very well. Happy trails
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Thank you for allowing me the pleasure to read this. This is a very well written poem. The vocabulary was a perfect flood of words, and the metaphors were amazing. Thank you for entering this piece, and good luck
Best of wishes
XBlankSillhouetteX -
Yes, it is....
I agree whole-heartedly. I love not only the images presented here, but the idea behind it.
I wish I had more of this courage, and yet, here I am, forging ahead... only 2 months later.
I love being inside your mind, reading your thoughts. You are being added to my favorites list.
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