So sickly I awoke, trying not to choke
On the ashes of scorched sanity
Busted and broke , I'm barely afloat
But I cannot let it get to me!
So I'll tear it all down, beat into the ground
Drag it through the muddy flooded fields of pain
And I wont let it drown in that water so brown
Toil just gags on that puddled blood in the rain
Try as it may, never keeping at bay
To hold me down and prevent victory
Mind so affray, it burns as it plays
And it still can't take hold of me!
So I'll tear it all down, beat into the ground
Drag it through the muddy flooded fields of pain
And I wont let it drown in that water so brown
Toil just gags on that puddled blood in the rain
Day after day sinking into my thinking
It will never expect me to know,
That when it is drinking, it won't even see me
As I deliver its own killing blow!
So I'll tear it all down, beat into the ground
Drag it through the muddy flooded fields of pain
And I wont let it drown in that water so brown
Toil just gags on that puddled blood in the rain
It's time has been found,wrists tied and bound
Flailing in the gutted ruts of the end of the Game
And I wont let it drown in that water so brown
Toil just gags on that puddled blood in the rain
A contest entry
- Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 194 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Getting into songwriting after some friends took interest in some of my other works, just wondering what folks think.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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lyrical emotions felt you sing with your heart and soul.
many lines spell sadness
well done and thanx 4 sharing with us all abe -
I see my friend Timothy was here already and basically wrote in his comment the feelings this poem of yours incites. We all fight to keep sane often. It seems the world is getting crazier by the minute. But it is all conditioning and staying away from that by the aware who exist in this world. It requires quite an effort, but we continue to do so, because somewhere deep down inside we know the reward for not allowing ourselves to be dragged along with the craziness of this world, will be rewarding beyond our perception. Thank you for creating and sharin and stay sane. Take care,
AD
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Nice Write.
Like the imagery here.
They move the reader within me.
Very unique as well, keep it up.
Peace, Timothy
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Amazing! I envy you!
Somehow, you've captured the saddness and hoplesness this world has to offer. And though I cannot completely see your inspiration for this, I have to say that it's well done. I've tried writing something like this in the past, but I give up not to far in. Congratulations, you did great. I love the "On the ashes of scorched sanity" line the most.
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very creative
This has a raw and gutsy mood to it. I like the chorus very much, especially this line:
"Drag it through the muddy flooded fields of pain"
Good luck with the song writing.
Ethereal One
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