I will tell you a tale
of a powerful guild,
with brave members all over the Horde;
And not once would they fail,
for this group was so skilled,
with a feather they held like a sword.
They fought till the last breath,
whether theirs or their kill,
and the ground trembled hard with a thud;
With their enemies death,
in their heart was a quill,
and a poem was written in blood.
© Jim T. Henriksen
January 8th, 2008
Author notes
I am a huge fan of World of Warcraft, and this is for the guild Poetic Justice.
Rhyming pattern is abcabc defdef, and rhythm pattern is 669669 669669, or better;
--=--=
--=--=
--=--=--=
--=--=
--=--=
--=--=--=
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
-
I think for me the last couple of lines of the final stanza really brought the poem to life.. up until that point the poem was everyday normal but you really turned it around at the end and made it stand out. Well done here.
-
-
Yes, the last few lines are the most powerful ones in the poem, as it refers to something written in blood. This is an analogy for something important, unchangeable, a warning perhaps, that needs to be heeded seriously. It also refers to the art of war, versus the art of the word, poetry. Here is the analogy that "The Pen is Mightier than the Sword", one that you might know well...
Thanks for commenting on this poem, it means a lot to me. 
Jim
-
-
Well written. (I don't like real weapons, myself.)
-
-
Thank you!
You know the saying, the pen is mightier than the sword. In this case it would be a quill, but it's generally the same thing. Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
-
-
Short but very good and descriptive as always.
-
-
Hi, Roz!
Thanks for reading and commenting, and I bow deeply for your applause! Jim
-
-
Good
I believe this is a poem that takes a look at the press and their role in global affaires. Your word choices and colorful vocabulary make this a very interesting and thoughtful read. Your word choices are clever, descriptive, and imaginative.
-
-
Not exactly
what I was thinking of when I wrote this, but I guess it can be applied to the press, and their role. The similarities are there, no doubt. Thanks for the comment, and the applause. Jim
-
-
It is great that you write what you are passionate about. I could never see myself writing such great work about Final Fantasy or Gutar Heros. You've done a wonderful job. The last two lines are magnificant. They really did a great job at ending the poem on an emotionally satisfying level.
-
-
When passion is satisfied, everything is wonderful and magnifficent. Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
-
-
This has a great style for your theme and yor tale, and is a very interesting piece, one that begs for a sequel, or acts II, III, IV, etc.
-
-
I will think about it, whether this poem gets sequels. It is possible, thanks for the suggestion, and your comment! Jim
-
-
I don't play WoW but I really liked this poem anyways. It made me think of [excuse my nerdiness] Harry Potter. Where Umbridge makes him write with the quill in his own blood.
Great poem!
:] -
-
You know,
you don't have to like the subject of the poem to enjoy the poem itself. I did not know this referrence to Harry Potter, I will look into it. Thanks for the comment! Jim
-
-
I was automatically reminded of the movie, Poetic Justice. Not a bad movie by the way. Personally I am a HUGE WOW hater... my husband plays it and I can't stand it. But good luck in the contest, the poem was well written, I just hate the game.
-
-
I didn't know
that there was a movie called Poetic Justice. I looked into it now, and I think I am gonna watch it. Unfortunately there are those who are victims, either they are wifes, kids, or other. This could easily been the situation for me aswell, but I fixed it in a most brilliant way. I introduced the game for my wife, and now she is just as big a fan as me, maybe even more. 
Glad you liked the poem at least. Thanks for the comment! Jim
-
-
Not once did they fail?...fought to the death either theirs or their kill...smacks of at least some failure...throws that off for me...sorry...as for WoW...too many little kids...and the graphics are too childish for me...rhyming pattern was good tho..
-
-
Nobody is perfect,
everyone fails once in a while, and sometimes that leads to death, but as you probably know, in the World of Warcraft that is not mortal. I agree there is lots of kids playing, both real kids, and adults behaving as kids. Thankfully there is mature people playing too, or I would not stay a minute longer. Thanks for your comment, I am glad you enjoyed the rhymes... Jim
-
-
I like this, sort of. You definitely have an ear for rhythm, unlike I. As a fan of the Warcraft series (although I haven't played Wow), I like this. It's simplistic and well-written for what it is.
-
-
Thanks, hobo.
I am on the other hand not a fan of the earlier games, but WoW is different from the previous games. Thanks for commenting on my simple poem. Jim
-
-
i'm not familiar with the game, so i'll just comment on the write...
great pice...
vivid imagery...
keep on writing!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
-
Yo, Mike!
Maybe you will try it one day? Thanks for the comment! Jim
-
-
Well, well...
To start, I HATE Warcraft, with every fiber of my being. My ex played it for like 14+ hours a day, so to me, it's synonymous with neglect.
But your POEM!
Wow, that one got right under my skin, even though rhyming poems usually don't cut it for me. Your rhythm was flawless and, I have to say, even though Warcraft sucks, this certainly didn't. Well done to you!
Laura
xxx
-
-
World of Warcraft
is a game loved by millions, and hated by just as many, especially spouses, parents, and in some cases children. To some WoW is an addiction.
I am thrilled that my poem reached through your hate for WoW. I guess it has something to do with the chanting, mesmerizing rhythm. Thanks for the comment, and the applause, I appreciate it a lot! Jim
-
-
Wonderful write, your rhyming is flawless.... Great write, thank you!
♥
whisper
-
-
Thanks, whisper.
I appreciate your comment, it means a lot. Jim
-
-
You are surely a very smart poet, and I am impressed by this poem. Love the way it speaks to the reader.
-
-
Aww, you make me
Thanks for your kind words Granny Love, and thanks for your generous applause. Jim
-
-
Extraordinary
I am glad you liked what I wrote and I must say I found yours to be refreshingly powerful by means of using word as weapon! I honor you with an all out 3 cheers for your glorious victory! For the Horde!
-
-
Exceptional
This poem, delivered via notes in game, has been a good method of winning new members, and people are free to keep a copy of it if they like, it works great as motivation. Thanks for the comment, and the applause! Jim
-
-
This is pretty good. Thanks for entering. keep itu p. best of luck.
Crimson -
-
Thanks...
Sorry to see I did not win anything, but that is ok. I am glad you liked it though. Jim
-
-
yeah, maybe next time. I honestly don't remember this poem.
-
-
-
wow!
Great piece! Your research on the parallel between a sword and the pen is very deep and though-provoking... I suppose words last longer. A writer survives in a way. If life is filled with emotions, and these emotions are kept safe in poetry, still vivid and intense, then the writer is remembered...
Thank you for this piece and
Happy New Year!
oneshot
-
-
Thank you!
Sorry I have not replied earlier, I've been busy with other things (like playing). True, a word of a poet outlive the sword of a warrior. Steel may rust, words may dust. Thanks for the comment, and for the applause, I appreciate it! Jim
-
-
Jim, I seem to recall an anagrammed piece we did together which claims the pen is mightier than the sword. This would attest to it most wonderfully. I like the style you used for this one bro. I did falter in a couple of places and seeing as you are asking. I kind of stuck on line three in each of the stanzas. These are just my thoughts here. Perhaps in the first stanza it could be written as, "brave members one and all in the horde;" and for the second stanza maybe, "as the ground shook from a mighty thud;". These are just thoughts bro and it's good to see you back writing. I enjoyed this one very much. Thank you for sharing with all of us. Love and hugs for you and the family.
Joyce
-
-
Indeed,
the pen is mightier than the sword, something every poet will agree upon. I hope the guide to the rhythm pattern I sent you will help a little for you to get the flow I intended. I will also add it to the comments, so others can get it as well. Thanks for the suggestions, but they don't work with my flow. As I say; When the muse comes over me, I just let it flow.
Thanks for the comment, and for the applause. Wondering where you've been lately, have not seen you online lately. Hugs to you and your husband from the Starhiker family. Jim
-
-
I've been kept busy with family and personal matters lately. I have done some writing. I was given gold for 45 days after the All Poetry book was finally published. You have probably seen it mentioned the last couple of days when you were in here. I have been popping in and out between things. Wishing you and the family a safe, healthy and happy 2008. Love and hugs from your sis, Joyce
-
-
-
Okay, technically there are a few errors. Most people pronounce "tale" and "fail" as two sylabol words which makes those lines 7, not 6.
Also the third line of the second stanza seems forced, perhaps to match up with the last line? Also "good" and "blood" are not really rhymes, nor near rhymes.
How about.."Now fatally dispatched to the mud" ?
But at the same time this piece has a wonderful flow to it. The content certainly tells a good story, though not a fan of World of Warcraft, I do play similar games and I get a nice feel from it for the gaming aspect.
-
-
Well, I use what I have learned, and then dictionary if in doubt or somebody say I am wrong. "Tale" and "fail" does however only have one syllable. I admit I did a wrong rhyme there with rhyming "good" and "blood", so much for trusting AllPoetry's rhyme generator.
Well, as "mud" rhymes with "blood", I guess you want me to change the line containing "good"... problem is that it breaks the flow. Thanks for the suggestion, I will work on it.
Thanks for commenting, and for the applause! Jim
-
-
this is a good poem i like it
-
-
Thanks for the comment! Jim
-
-
I've always found a shotgun although considerably more course, could totally fuck up a quill.
-
-
That is true...
A shotgun is considerably more course... Thanks for the comment! Jim
-
-
Interesting work - very formal in his rhythm and rhyming. It does seem a little "forced" but that is an unfortunate consequence of adhering to a formal patter. I like the creative tale also ...
-
-
I am working on that
so that it won't feel forced anymore, I already changed a little in upper part of first stanza, but third line of second stanza still bothers me. If you have any ideas, let me know. I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the tale, and thank you for your comment and applause, it means a lot to me. Jim
-
-
Hey Jim this is rather good,better than I woulda done
I thought it was for a contest,but not, you would have a good chance for sure...keep penning
Linda
-
-
Hi sis!
Good to know that this would stand a chance in a contest, maybe I will add it to a fantasy contest, if it allows prewrites. Thanks for your kind comment, and your applause, I appreciate it! Jim
-
-
May not be one of your best but it's pretty damn good. The rhyme scheme is wonderful as it picks up the meter and completes the flow. The image is really a message and one that is easy to relate to; the pen is mightier than the sword.
Love,
Amera♥
-
-
You are absolutely right, the pen is mightier than the sword, especially if it is sharp enough. I fixed a typo here and added a syllable there, and now it's atleast a little better. Thanks for the comment and the applause, it means a lot to me! Jim
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 51 of 51
