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Winter Wonderland

O winter time has just begun

Come on down to the Florida sun

The weather’s warm and feels so good

Come on down for the ocean fun

 

So bring your kids, just like you should

Wear sexy sandals, made of wood

Lay on the beach and clear your mind

You know you would, if you only could

 

With bathing suits of every kind

Sexy girls, that will blow your mind

A lifetime trip to the sunshine state

There’s treasure here, that you will find

 

With sun and sand and breeze that’s great

There’s only one thing, that we hate

The crazy tourists sure can’t drive

They’ll slow you down and make you late

 

Florida’s where the Palm Trees thrive

But if you want to stay alive

Be very careful when you drive

Keep your ass off “I” ninety five

 

 

 

Author notes

Form: Interlocking Rubáiyát

In a list

Comments:

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • DesolatELifE
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    The third line rhymes (with the main rhymes in the following verse).. I don't think it mentioned that in the explanation. Is that necessary, or just a nice touch you added?

    I'm not keen on this rhyme scheme. Wonderfully done, though, of course. There are many forms in your list. I am hunting for one to do next.


    • Amera gold member
      June 19
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, the third line is the interlocking rhyme. Lines 1, 2 and 4 all rhyme. The rhyme scheme interlocks stanza to stanza: aaba, bbcb. ccdc ...


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this a very interesting form and a fun, lighthearted write....

    nicely done, thanks so much for entering


    al


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hehe..oh, rub it in now..this is great.


  • rebeka
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ha! i love this, both my sons live in St Pete and constantly complain about the snowbird tourist. great write and one i really enjoyed and related to.


  • PerVirtuous
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is fabulous. I love the imagery, pace, flow, and humor in this. However, you have convinced me to come visit you... so I am packing my speedo and I will be right there... order me a Zombie, wouldja?

  • LaVitaNuova1300
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Charming--trust me, I know the interstates in Florida, and the Jews, rednecks, and elderly drive fast down there, unlike here where the Jews are more worried about keeping the money in their pocket, as Jews always are, and not getting a ticket,the hicks drive too slow, as do the elderly. A charming poem, especially at the end. Not a noble poem, but a fun read for laughs, and well metered.


  • BellaD
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    What a Fun Poem

    This is a delight to read. Your rhyme and rhythm are superb as always. Well done.


  • micol
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Makes me [almost] want to go to Florida. We're in our first real winter storm since moving to Idaho, and loving it. But then again, we don't have to go outside unless we want to....

    You do nice things with rhythm and tone, matching them with your imagery to make the poem seem to dance its way through delights. Enjoyable to read and to imagine. Well done.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The greatest writer on AP
    Has written winter here for me
    Is she in bathing suit to write?
    If she is why can't I see?

    Here it's a cold and dreary night
    Not a hint of warm star light
    In Florida I wish to be
    To see its most enticing sight

    Not very good sorry. Yours is wonderful.


    • PerVirtuous
      January 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Find your own woman to model bathing suits for you.

      • cricketjeff gold member
        January 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        The finest sight in Florida
        In swimsuit, on display
        Is not enough temptation
        To steal my heart away.
        A finer sight I have you see
        And swimsuit not in sight
        Who needs sunshine and a swimsuit
        When it's time to say goodnight...



  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Florida’s where the Palm Trees thrive
    But if you want to stay alive
    Be very careful when you drive
    Keep your ass off “I” ninety five"


    Lol! OMG! this is soooo funny! Great job Amera.


1 - 13 of 13