Be the weak I’ll be the force.
We don’t need you in this world.
Can’t believe you are so lost!
You’re so blind and so dumb!
How many would give their life,
To live what you try to put aside.
How many crumble apart,
Dumping everything good they have.
For a little problem they go down,
For a little tear they choke and drown,
For one small wound they bleed and drain,
They are in an ocean, and is a little drop of rain.
For a little problem they go down;
Being consumed by their flaws.
Feeling lost with map and signs,
They leave everything to live.
For a little tear they choke and drown;
“Oh, my god lets die, I’m down!”
Well if you don’t want to live,
Be my guest and go die free!
For one small wound they bleed and drain;
Feeling nothing but their pain,
If some had what they have gained...
They wouldn’t waste it being so lame.
They are in an ocean, and it’s a little drop of rain;
They ignore what they obtain,
If some could live one more day...
They wouldn’t give up, for that little thunder or rain.
One more they so they can breathe,
And smile, being healthy and free...
Struggling for one more day to live.
While you leave, like nothing means.
Author notes
this poem is a critic to suicidal people, against suicide.
I have a brother who's sick of a heart disease,
and it makes me mad that people that have all the health and all to live, give up and suicide for one little problem.
while if my brother had health and was strong to do all he use to, he wouldnt waste it like that, he's being through alot and hes the strongest person on earth! And he hasnt gave up!
i'd like to dedicate it to him... Talan, cuz hes the gratest boy in earth, and he disearves to stay as long as he can, so he can enjoy and hold on to everything hes got, to go free of his disease and be fine...
A contest entry
- Rebel! by Cinder.
900 points, ended February 23, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
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i understand where you are coming from and the poem portrays it well although perhaps the repetition was a little excessive, still there were good lines; the drop in an ocean idea as done nicely.
this line particularly stood out for me:
Feeling lost with map and signs,
aaaaa...it is just as easy to feel lost for too much well-meant direction as without any.
may i just say that some people who commit suicide suffer from unseen diseases like depression which are just as real and debilitating. your brother will be in my thoughts and prayers, stay strong.
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offcourse! i know what you mean. thank you so much for your comment. you make a good point. and im not trying to diss people who suffer from diseases.. cuz i got a friend whos in them. im just talking about people that give up way easy in life...
thanks again!!!
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