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close eyelids, feel cave or observe one...

can't leave without, goes around wits
until that's instilled it's ok without the chain
but twisties from store produce for bicycle home;
my countenance looks like my dad and acts
the pixels of such smile
between retina and taught synapse
flex gear regardably back

register without a growl
the joy of being human germanely
the sharing of mouths for magnitude of good mix

I could feed a grandma and baby margins
flavor and beneficial
slurp cabbage
not by blender but nature
with allowance of fermentation
laugh without a choke,,,

the sauerkraut is mild as its pears remolded well yet,
look across the table to see who's helping soften heart
vice versa vascularly by insight
especially if tough conditions need another assistance
so not sour if source wasn't right
but if without switch to state cheer

the face has facets
tenderest responses,
taking giving ticking tocking
legitimately sunned if soley
when wrapped in winter without sandals,
obligate date of presentation as well

Author notes

abstract attempt, may edit with rethinking

please don't have good luck as what's valued

please write comment, not emoticons or the applause though rose is nice sign of putting pencil down ~

A contest entry

mannequin is with our things --

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • WolfHeart
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good abstract and you kept your pace all the way through. Nice work and good luck in the contest.

    Wolfie


  • MissStranger
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm...I dare say that this is one of the most hard to judge entry that I've read along my contests.I will start with the title(which in my opinion is generaly responsable for 50 % of the final effect) and in here is veeery original and equally intriguing.the manner in which you've managed to explore the topic is incredible: thoughtful words within truly inspired lines,all simply bursting with energy.
    "the sauerkraut is mild as its pears remolded well yet,
    look across the table to see who's helping soften heart
    vice versa vascularly by insight
    especially if tough conditions need another assistance
    so not sour if source wasn't right
    but if without switch to state cheer"...this stanza got stuck in my head!A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

    all in all, I thank you for entering and wish you good luck!your entry made my day!


    • also called
      January 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      grin exploited as gold

      MissStranger what language can I say thanks in for the new feeling you brought to it?

      extemporaneously you reinstilled what activates the meeting features even when incorporating writing as one. So title may be as first impression. I could feel you following eyebrows of my words found briefly there, 'original and equally intriguing' so I'll try not to feel self conscious having fun right away in the future with pieces ha-ha.

      I'm glad it could merit attention for what you came to, as I wanted to establish the blush and the bridge...

      your expression for the reception that verses could be accepted as, to stay at was very relieving; you went past presentation to be absorbed and was there. even funny how font came life size inventively to tell me your effect.

      I appreciate your unique interaction, and I exerted to let that be seen; so author notes declined looking for applause, sort of communication without cosmetics... and I liked you up close not needing to back up to typical pantomime. [similarily it was for us not fortune~]

      it performed better together,
      also called