Here I stand alone again
Just like yesterday
And the day before
Time passes by
And yet here I am
Just a figure in the wind
No one sees me
I’m invisible
No one cares
They can’t see
That behind these eyes
Is a soul hurting
And feels pain just as they do
They don’t want to see
That I am just like them
Invisible
A contest entry
- Standing Alone - Image Inspired by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended January 11, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest~Your Choice by Dak.
600 points, ended January 16, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES GALLORE ~!~!~! by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Beautiful and lamenting. The honesty shines through beautiful but hurtful. Very nicely penned.
Thanks for entering,
-
"Is a soul hurting
And feels pain just as they do"
I think the verb choice kinda breaks the flow, it would sound better as
"Is a soul hurting
And feeling [the] pain just as they do"
With or without the "the" is up to you, of course, this is merely an opinion. I like the message you get from the poem, thank you for entering in my contest. :] -
kewlness
This was really good. I like the lines:
Here I stand alone again
Just like yesterday
And the day before
It gives a good sescription of how time truly did pass by. Once again another nice poem. Great write and Great job!!! -
An impressive piece. Alone is such a hard place to be and so often we all can feel that there is no one else who truly understands how we tick.
You have handled this image prompt very well. An impressive verse that hangs tight to human nature and the way people think. I am so pleased to see this entry in my contest.
Thank you and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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