Thoughts of a Wandering,Restless Mind

My eyes constantly re-adjust to what I can have

And what I can't

One moment I'm near-sighted and the next, far-sighted

Today I'm living for today but tomorrow might be different

And I'll live for a tomorrow that's a million breaths away

Just to overlook what I'm missing in the present

 It's so selfish

To want everything

But yet at the same time, I want nothing and I want to be happy with nothing

And I want to see all these places

Rome, Paris, Venice--the gondillas on the canal at sunset...

And I want to sit content at a small table on a street corner I've never seen before

And watch people pass by as I sip on coffee that tastes like amusement

And peace.

I want a marriage.

Simple--family, a few friends

A gown that makes me feel simple

Makeup that makes me feel like I'm in love--careless

I don't want a care in the world

And I want a daughter of my own

I daydream about washing her hair and rinsing the delicate bubbles

Off her porcelain skin and watching the suds trickle down her little arms

And as cliche as it may seem, I want to be the mom that always slices the crust off of her P.B.&J....

I want so many things

But I want to want nothing at all

Because wanting brings worry

And wanting brings the opportunity

To be let down, again and again

Sometimes you can't make your own future

No matter how hard you try

And I guess...

All that matters is if I'll be happy with what I have

If I have it

And when I do...

~cat~