I once saw scratches in the sand,
I knelt and watched as the lines drew and withdrew
with a curious hand,
A calm little pond in a gentle forest view.
Listen to how the rocks sit so gently,
surrounding such a clear mirror
water lilies adorned in gentle beauty
a haunting tune swirling within such meager depths
tickling my eyes,
Calling me nearer.
Strange characters in the fading grains
of unmelted glass
I pass over the pretty flowers
upon rippling mirror,
There they drew without a sound,
At the edge of the grass where I set my hand,
A curious display of sprightly figures upon the ground,
Faeries writing love notes in the sand.
Author notes
Anonymity is like a warm blanket. Thanks Max. Or should I say Maxine?
Demington
A contest entry
- Experiment by Dienush.
3550 points, ended January 31, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Experiment: 3rd set of trophies by Dienush.
1282 points, ended February 4, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
-
Very nice... I like this poem a lot. It really did deserve the bronze trophy that you won. And now for the scores...
title- 9
diction- 10
syntax- 9
wowness factor- 9
total- 37 great score
Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
Beautiful picture captured well done!
-
This poem is beautiful and has a great flow. The first stanza stuck with me the most, and also the third one was good. I like this, but on another note I think your poem might benefit from a little less adjectives, but that is just me. I really like how this reads though... the words just seem to flow off it.
As for my experiment, I don't think you were one of the "subjects", were you?
Thank you very much for entering my contest
~Diana
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