Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

you grin at me

You grin at me,
and I think is this really happening?
Yet your arms are around my waist,
and I know this is for real.
Then I look up and realize,
I know what is going to happen next.
Then I catch myself willing it,

Your lips come down to meet mine.
My arms go around your neck,
your grip around my waist tightens,
as if you never want to let go.
Then the magic ends, the kiss breaks,
and I lay my head on your shoulder, 
I am perfectly content.

Author notes

darkangelslove 5.

A contest entry

Do you like this poem??

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Chocoholic156
    May 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My first piece of advice is to delete your poems from the contests that you did not win in. It is not very proffesional to have that many dead poems. It sets a bad standard.
    I like this poem because you fill it with feelings and warmth, but I do have some advice for a couple lines

    Your warm smile, so close to mine,
    is this really happening?
    your arms around my waist feel so solid,
    and I know this is real.

    Those are just a couple suggestoins, I hope this helped, and good luck in my contest.

  • Lucille
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful poem. I like how its like a really slowed down version of it happening, almost like it was happening in real time but you give us the information slowly.


  • LissaRox
    March 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem. Thank you for entering.


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry,good luck, Josie


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest. Although this poem really doesnt follow the tpoic of the contest I will allow it because it is a nice poem.


  • Xx Luna xX
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering

    I have read this poem before. I remember it well and it is still amazing. Good job!


  • luna-midnight gold member
    February 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awwww, this is really sweet and all =)great write and good luck in all those contests =)
    stephanei


  • Shapla
    February 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very sweet and passionate. Thanks for the lovely entry and good luck in the contest


  • only1love4ever
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that is so sweet, and complex, yet so very simple, it reminds me of how i kiss my man, to look up into their eyes right before your lips meet, then close your eyes, throw your arms around their neck, lock your fingers, and pull them close, as close as you can get, then throw your hips into it, lock lip to lip, with all the fire and all the flame, in that moment of pure splendor,just you and him, not wanting to let go, not wanting it to end, such a very perfect moment, just you and him, a kiss, so urgent, so sudden, so inflamed, yet so spectacular, and so perfect, and so insane!.....Thank you so much for such a sweet poem and thank you for entering! It was beautiful!! BEST of LUCK!!


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So very sweet and paints a beautiful picture for the heart to read Thank you so much for sharing and entering


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a tough one...

    I felt that this was at some points heading towards the erotic side of love. It really didn't have the emotion that one would look for in a love poem. Sorry to sound like I am tearing this down...However, these are my opinions.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • VirginiaDarling
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Don't forget to pick your choice of the e-book title, please put it in your author notes.

  • VirginiaDarling
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    13th line shoulder is mis-spelled. Overall it's a very wonderful poem. I love the way you describe such a romantic kiss. Thank you for entering and good luck. Keep up the great work.


  • suseann
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry. I've enjoyed reading it.


  • marciakay81
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    shoulder....not solder...this is very lovely. the look in his eyes before he kisses you, it's enough to make you melt.


  • cafegroundzero gold member
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    (((yawn)))


    Oh sorry. It's time for my nap.

    Sweet.

    But not very original.

    But still sweet. Send it to Hallmark. Maybe you'll get a check in return.


    • Dragon24
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      ?hua?

      what did you mean by send my poem to Hallmark? and how do i get paid for that?


  • Maybe Anastasia
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There are some errors in here and it's a little weak for the emotion you're trying to convey I think. Good job though and thanks for the entry.


  • onapedestalIstand
    January 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow thats really deep!!i love it mabey someday i'll be as good as you!


  • AshleyTisdale
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was very good, liked it


  • Cari Cullen
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was very good! I injoyed the part "Your arms around my waist" Kinda gets ya alll happy and mushy and kissy haha keep it up.....just be glade a bo put his arms around you.


  • marciakay81
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really enjoy this poem, but there are a few typos...feel free to correct them in your entry


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet and loving write this is, hon
    A fine sharing!
    I love this; the best of luck in the contest!

  • Xx Luna xX
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!!!!!

    Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful. You have me in tear... This makes me miss my boyfriend so much. Your poetry really engines my emotion.... Wow, I am coming back to read this again. Brilliant ending!


  • marciakay81
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very sweet...thanks for the entry.

1 - 25 of 25