Conquered me
Open and alone
A single boy
In the land of war
On the high seas
Of rolling hills
That campus wide
Mindset streamlined
Stood and fought
Authority the enemy
Martyrdom never mine.
The days have passed
Nightmares fled
Still you come
A face in darkness
Unbeatable foe
Passing shadow
Of days gone by.
Made me face
The truth I lived
Lies my blanket
Hope my savior
Took away both
Just flesh and bone
A wandering mind
That never rests.
Author notes
continuation off of the same thread from poem two just a different summer.
I took your time, now let me have your thoughts....
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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With this one i feel like your fighting something or someone?
Good Job. -
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yea its about losing to a dream, to myself essentially and trying to come to terms with that
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Very great poem! I had to read it twice to take everything from it. good job!
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BRAVO! BRAVO!
I've been waiting for the poets to speak on the levels
of authority and actually use the word...we seem to skirt
it...and a lovely prompt it is....economically...and
politically..the words has a bitter meaning right now..
but soulfullly...i've always tried to tackle it and failed
the power of authority and the power of surrender
is one and the same!
ears
chew on it...you just may be the poet to tackle it!
oh..don't forget to send me link to celebrate it!
This is a wonderful start!
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well yea if you have authority everyone surrenders themselves to it for it to work. but ive also looked atthe opposite ie freedom and realized that in a state of freedom we too are doomed. its a duel edged sword. thanks for the comments
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Hmmm
Like the imagery but alittle awkward to read.
I do like it though. -
I liked the rambling structure, the way it starts going somewhere then darts off, short lines distorting sentences- i think it helped enforce the idea of being endlessly pursued either by ones own self or by a real unknown foe and the feeling of restlessness.
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yea!! what you said. hope you enjoyed it!
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Eh...I really am lost here dear. Don't quite know what to make of this as it appears to ramble all over the page...but I'm sure you will explain it to me and then it will seem more structured to my eye.
~The Inc." -
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yea lets see its actually about a particular bad experience and the way in which that experience to the present haunts me. the structure is in some ways lacking however was also written to the music at the time a mixture of which had this strange choppy sound. the broken jumpy lines are to express that sense of hopeless struggle against that sole enemy who you can never fight again. the fight ended without any real fighting and forever I wonder whether I fought enough or hard enough but know i cant change it. make sense?
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cool
good poem here, not my type of poem but theres some good imagery in here
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