As she sat in her room
She lit up another one
Praying that her father
Wouldn't see the glowing ember
At her third floor window
She inhaled the smoke
And tried not to think
About her boyfriend
About her brother
And how she was letting them down
Ashes fell
Faster then her silver tears
Ashes blew
Freely in the chill wind
Ashes fell
Faster then her tears could flow
She knew it was bad
And now she is dead
Dead to the world
She thought of the world in day
All happy and bright
She thought of the world in night
All dark with dispair
And she lit up another one
And it began again
Author notes
idk... its kinda weird but o well
A contest entry
- Tell me her story by Xx Luna xX.
450 points, ended January 10, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
soooo... wat you think?
Comments
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Wonderful
Terrific poem for the picture. Congratulations on the bronze.
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I loved it, the image of the ashes and tears was amazing, and I really liked the juxtaposition at the end of day and night.
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Love it!!
Ashes fell
Faster then her silver tears
Ashes blew
Freely in the chill wind
Ashes fell
I love these lines, wonderfully penned.
I love this. Thank you for entering. This is very creative. -
i really really loved it until then 'she was dead' part. it was really crative before that then that line kind of set me back. i love the idea of her dying but i want more of a story and more mataphores. but thats just my opinion. on the very first part, and all that jazz, i fell in love. but as easily as i did i fell out of it too. keep writing, i enjoy your stuff.
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