Flutter your wings
My butterfly.
Don’t let them hurt you
As they have done
To me.
Fly away, fly away
My butterfly.
Don’t let them trap you
As they have done
To me.
Your shimmering colors
My only hope in life.
Live, be free, enjoy life
For me.
My butterfly.
Only a speck in the sky
You’ve again flown away.
I wish I could follow you
Away far away.
I’m alone again, my only
Company gone away.
Trapped in my mind again
The key thrown away.
Freedom a vast dream and
Illusion my only reality.
My butterfly…
Author notes
Wynsom Trouble
A contest entry
- I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkwrite Extravaganza Season II, Round I by Immortal Obscurity.
300 points, ended February 11, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DARK writes PW by InMyFlames.
380 points, ended February 18, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry by Aeonna.
1090 points, ended March 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEENAGERS - We're not all thick, yeah? #2 by LaurenLightning--x.
730 points, ended May 7, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who are you? The real you... by Lucky-Charm.
475 points, ended April 5, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your favorite poem that has no trophies by whispernthedark.
490 points, ended April 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Darkwrite Challenge by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
450 points, ended April 8, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tears, fears, and everything inbetween by nobodys-girl.
700 points, ended May 4, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry! by BeautifullyBroken42.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Word Prompt~ by Frozentearz.
525 points, ended August 10, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please judge critically if you'd like.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
Ahh but we do have wings we just cain't see them
but I get the poem sometimes we feel trapped. and are wings are in need of repair,
Thanks for joining in.
Warm thoughts.
Frozentearz -
If only we had wings like a butterfly that would allow us to fly away~
Live, be free, enjoy life my butterfly.
Thanks for entering and best wishes,
Frogz~
-
i love the picture this creates. thankyou so much for entring my contest and best of luck!
-
This is beautiful.
The imagery this piece created blew me away.
I love the way it all linked to a butterfly, such a pretty thing.
Thank you for entering and goodluck!
Arc-En-Ciel--x -
Nice sad piece, i liked the likening to the butterfly, seemed kinda fitting.
Thank you for the entry and good luck
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Thank you so much for sharing your favorite poem with me, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
-
Awww,this was beautiful!! I love how you portrayed the butterfly.Thank you for entering and goodluck.
-
i thought you were suppose to be scaring me lol this only made me laugh im sorry and it wasnt an evil one anyway thanks for entering
-
I found this quite a sad piece, with some longing portrayed. I liked the butterfly theme, well penned. Good luck
-
Yes this has a very subtle darkness to it. A sad and lonely sounding piece.
All the best at judging
gaylene
-
This is pretty, though I don't find it dark, really. It has it's moments, but I almost feel that it lacks passion. It just had so much more potential than what I saw here. In any case, a solid attempt, so good luck to you!
Laura
xxx -
As they have done
To me.
~~~
I like how you included this part twice. It stirred up the emotion and repetition to create a well-crafted piece of poetry.
Your words are enticing, and I loved every bit of this poem.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
-
-
Thank you for your comment, I greatly appreciate it!
-
-
splendid!
since i commented on your brother's poem, i wanted to check out one of yours also...and i must say that talent does run in your family! ;p That was a totally breathtaking write! It was really vivid in imagery and painted a world of color in my mind. At the same time, the words are brushed with a haunting note of sadness which according to me, contribute to making the poem such an intense one. I love the way you describe varying degrees of emotion from loneliness to bitterness, hope and hurt.
I really love this write and it's something i can definitely relate to!
You're a marvelous poet so keep up the great work!
-
-
Thank you for your comment and applause! I'm sorry I didn't realize that you had commented on 'Butterfly' before now. Sometimes I don't get notices about comments and such, so I find out a bit later. Again, thank you for your comment and applause, they are much appreciated!!
-
-
I like it. The imagry was very nice. The one problem I have with it is that it seemed weak, in a strange way. It seemed as though the subject was just going to lie down and let whatever happened, happen. It was tragedy that nobody tried to prevent or change. Maybe that was the point, I'm not sure. But I like it. The metaphor of the butterfly has been used before, but you used it in the exact right way. Great poem!
-
-
Yes, that was the point! I'm really glad that you saw it!!!!!
-
-
Very nice write about the butterfly. Beautiful imagery. I've read some poets written about the butterfly has the similiar message, and I think that's okay.
You’re shimmering colors
My only hope in life.
Live, be free, enjoy life
For me.
My butterfly
-
they say the hardest thing to do is to let something go for it's own good, i think that is what this poem is kind of like, as i read it i see a butterfly in a jar and then it is set free, from the hards of children who would shake the jar tap it tease it, keep it flowing
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
