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The Storm




Spears of lightning
come piercing down

While thunder booms
all around,
I know we are in
for a grand storm.

Time waits for these
moments; lovers smile
while children run
in the midst of this roar.

I am uncertain
which I like more;
thunder or lightning
for they stir such deep excitement

While I wait for the next
roar, till my sweetie
appears and joins me
in the fun of it all.

Thunder, I think,
I like more
for it's bountiful force.




Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Pari Ali
    March 13, 2008
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    I love storms, they churn the wildest emotions within me. I can feel your words well.


  • aslanlight
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah wow yes I love storms too. The feeling's electric and we're totally aware that we're alive. You managed to capture the intense excitement of a storm with your pen.

    Peace Georgia

  • Just4u
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thunder stirs the hearing
    Lightning stirs the eyes
    together they bring feeling
    to what lies in the skies

    Rain upon the rooftops
    moist upon our skin
    And yet when shared together
    we both in end do win

    Hugs...Eddy


  • Sandygram silver member
    January 15, 2008

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    Hello Tamara, This was a wonderful poem about a storm. Very nice imagery made for a very pleasdant read this morning. You Take care. Sandy


  • Ladybug
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • kvwriter silver member
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey You! Enjoyed the write! I love storms. Hope you are doing well. Was pleased to see you again. Been awhile hasn't it. Let me know how you are doing and I hope it's all good news, though some might not be. Such is life. Love sent to you, Tam. Be blessed!--Kel


  • leander gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I honestly like this poem that you've written here I like nature poetry, even though it might represent the dark and dangerous forces of it.

    One little remark I'd like to make for this one: I noticed you have used a few times 'the storm' in this. And even though I realize that is the title, I think it would give that tad bit more strength to the poem if you tried to avoid these repetitions and thought of something else that could resemble this storm as well.

    Like in the third stanza - I would just let the word 'storm' fall...
    Last but one line I would just end that stanza with 'in this fun'.
    Since you have already sketched the whole situation and as a reader, we know you're talking about that storm so no need to repeat

    But that is just my personal opinion
    Keep it up!
    Leander

1 - 7 of 7