brittle rigid spines
stand straight against coming change
determined to stand
like branches they snap
in winter's gales of harsh wind
unwilling to bend
old trees fall to ground
roots no longer finding place
in times shifting sand.
A contest entry
- CHAIN OF THREE-LINED Poems of Succintness ~ Winklings Contest # 35 by Lyndon.
1150 points, ended January 30, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Dear Tamera
I support myron entirely. Ars Poeticas has a section, too, on Ku.
"like branches they snap
in winter's gales of harsh wind
unwilling to bend"
branches snap
in winter gales
unable to bend
is more an Haiku because there is no simile; no repetition because gales are harsh winds; "unwilling" implies decision which identifies personification.
And, twelve syllables are quite okay with me!
Lots of love, Ron.
PS No one is worth a trophy yet. So, go for it!!!
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any haiku here?
Hi Tamera, thanks for entering this haiku contest. i enjoyed reading your poetic expressions of winter. i liked the resolute, emotional atmophere contained within them. it shows that you have a good knowledge of poetry.
But Ron has asked me to try to find some ‘true’ haiku in this contest. I’m looking for haiku which show:
1) a juxtaposition between two sense images,
2) written with one break in the grammatical flow and
3) using clear, unpoetic language.
In haiku I’m looking to see and hear what the poet sees and hears around them. Most of the entries I’m reading are 17 syllable poems containing thoughts and opinions about nature, often containing statements rather than images. I’m not sure that’s enough to constitute a ‘true haiku’.
Your samples here are perhaps too poetic for haiku.
I hope you don’t mind my comments.
Yours in haiku,
Myron.
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