The things my old friend will never know

I admitted to myself,
I miss her,
I miss my friend,
I miss my sister.

We are gonna graduate this year,
We're not together,
We aren't talking,
We aren't laughing.

I miss my friend,
It was so hard to say,
I'm breaking down,
Admitting what I kept hidden.

I hate what's become of us,
I hate what has happened.
How can I take it back?
All the things we said?

I can't,
Thats the thing,
So now.
We graduate in different schools.

I miss the memories,
I wouldn't allow myself,
To remember,
I would not remember.

It hurt to much,
It still hurts now.
I just want my friend back,
But things will never be the same.

How do I say something,
That just does not come out right?
How do I say I miss you,
And not cry when I say it?

I am crying now,
I miss her so,
I wish she knew,
How much that were true.

Deep down,
I miss her,
Deep down,
I want it to go back to the way it was.

But I will never tell her,
Because I am just to stubborn,
Even though I miss her,
She will never know.