Oh God, Oh God, oh God
when poetry is not my savior
and there is no intervention
for the onslaught of memories
and I am reduced to the tunnel vision
of past experiences
of the feel of the bed under my belly
and the rythmatic turmoil above me,
with a gentle voice calling out reassurances
to make it all okay
and when poetry is not my savior
when poetry is not my savior...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I actually think that it is complete. As much as it isn't. That's what an incomplete thought is; something you don't finish, or can't quite finish but it still says the core of what you want it to.
I really like this poem. I can relate, is mostly why. And when you write, it's like kneeling and praying, when it's written, it's a miracle, when it's read, it's salvation.
"and I am reduced to the tunnel vision
of past experiences"
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I like it; either as is or as the core of something developed
Hi Stumblie,
May I comment?
1. What you've written parallels my own experience in writing; for writing is not a saviour. It can be a catharsis, a purgative, and anesthetic, an addiction to avoid reality.
2. Memories can be deceiving, depressing, distorted, and we need the still small voice to speak reassurance to us when we think we're going mad.
3. If you inted to finish the poem, what options or solutions are you offering to the reader?
4. If you intend to leave it as it is, how can you lead the reader into finishing the thought from their own perspective?
5. If this is one of your personal bookmarks to look back upon; why not reprise it in a year or two. Not finih it, per se, but come at it froma fresh angle.
Have fun.
J.G.
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yea i agree with pathwee great job evn u nvr finish it ..
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this is very well written. i really enjoyed reading this. Great job and keep up the good work.
take care, -
Even if you are not finished I love what you have here. Well written!
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