perhaps
my father wasn't cruel
but merely observant
he noticed the flaws in me
no one else had seen
and would
have been remiss
not to remind me
of them often
kinder than i
he found no charity
in silence
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre-write-a-pal-ooza by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 8, 2008, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very nice work. This is so... I don't know, thoughtful. Very direct, but it suits the message. The last stanza is just perfect, I love the idea of charity, or lack thereof, in silence.
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most of the time those flaws our parents find in us as children are only reflections of themselves...
interesting how people choose to handle things..
eh.. we all have the parent crap
really liked how you molded this though to make it a more interesting parent bullshit write
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ah yes, I can associate with this, there is something quietly cruel about words like that, that lay deep for a long time, it took me till I was 41 to tell my mum about the things she'd said to me as a child, now that was a cathartic day for sure!
damn I feel every word of this....
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your new poem is really good.. paints such a clear memory
opens a door you havent explored a ton in your poetry- but that i think is worth exploring-
the defeat of a child being made to feel useless.. unworthy
strong strong poetry-
m
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