Flittering moments
Suspended in time, trapped in dust.
Minute glimpses of happiness and despair,
Trunks containing different people,
filled with secrets.
Intoxicating rays of sunshine and dust
Slip between aged rafters.
.
Glittering diadems,
Reflecting off mirrors long broken.
archways of Mystery, of Intrigue.
A Reliquary temple of ages past.
Author notes
Mr. Kite.
Hmm... this is Too Short Kerri, it feels incomplete.
But you said 50 words max soo.......
Nice Contest anyhow.
A contest entry
- Best Allpoetry Poet of 2007 Round 3!! Final Round! It's all in the Attic by Salt Therapy.
1000 points, ended January 13, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Stop Me. please.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this kinda reminds me of an abandoned barn me and my friends found. your imagery is beautiful. "i like the reliquary temple of ages past" line
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interesting.
it made me think of glitter.
your a good writer, but this feels as if you've written the beginning, and have forgotten what the ending was to be...how ever, what you have written, although short, is stand out.
i've begun to notcie that with wordly experience, a poets writing improves, not just subject wise, but also of the clarity with which they describe things, and the language they use.
you've grown since i began to read your work, and it shows.
as always, well wrote.
-Alyssa.
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I don't like the word Trunks. Makes it sound I don't know it just doesn't fit.
Its short and not my favorite of your works. I do though like the last stanza -
i like it i don't know why but i like it
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WOW, how could anyone talk smack about this? this is excellent...I loved the power of your metaphors and yet the clarity of them as well. You are quite the poet, keep up the good work!
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I like it! Its absolutely brilliant!! Well done!!! However you might want to think of a better color contrast between text and background though. It is hard to read
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PDG ...
which translates as pretty damned good. I've never seen reliquary used in a poem before. I'm in awe.
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Dear poet,
Thank you once again for impressing me and moving up to the third and final round. This contest series is soon to be over, but I am glad you have made it this far! Your work is profound and you are very, very talented. All of you are. Good luck and best wishes to you in this final competition for the title Best Allpoetry Poet of 2007. Thank you for entering my contests. I hope to see you in many more of them. Now, for your individual poem comment:
A very interesting take on the prompt, dear friend. Your vocabulary is flawless in the way you portray your thoughts on the subject. Thank you kindly for taking the time to do this. You have outdone yourself! ~ Kerri
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