frozen pond
a thirsty dog licks
his nose
a snowy owl
covered in white
tricks the hawk
falling again
on the sidewalk
the snow and I
Author notes
haikumonk and I decided that L3 of first haiku reads better now then before. Thanks Don!
First posting:
thirsty dog
licks a frozen moon
in a pond
In a list
A contest entry
- Deep Winter Haiku by Swan song.
800 points, ended January 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This is some wonderful winter imagery here, I liked the hawk and the snowy owl, and the dog licking his nose. Great!
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The first haiku here sticks out. The second haiku works well except that I don't uderstand why the owl needs to trick the hawk since both are birds of prey.
I do know that spotted owls and prayed upon by barn owls, but I do not know that hawks wold pray on them
Anyways thank you for entering and well done liked the first one
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Thanks Swan song. Yeah, hawks do prey on snow owls, when they can find the owls under a layer of snow
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frozen pond--
thirsty dog favors
tip of tongue
favors as in "treats gently" as in, "he favored his injured leg, as in, "I'm done."
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Wonderful write. And yet Ms Gaze you kind-of destroy haiku's (for me). I call them death poems (privately). I can't see you on your knees with knife in hand, sprouting your last verse. There is too much life in yours. --- I guess I can see you prostrate in the ice and snow, feeling death, feeling ready to inflict death. ---- (you're (almost) to clever) ---- Thank you.
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i am trying to learn haiku, this looks so easy in the hands of people with skills... very nice...PK
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lol
I can especially relate to the last haiku of this one here I can guarantee you, whenever there's snow, there's a print of my ass with it 
I can't think of one year when I didn't meet the sidewalk in a much too close encounter when there's snow 
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Well I am by far no expert, but these appear to be very very good!!! Great images too. I love the first one, second in very clever and I feel ya on the last one... OW!
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I fall every single Winter, this year wasn't in public, thanks goodness!
Still find that hat looks like a bird
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Love the title, one I'd be proud to have thought of...
wintering, that's how I see winter...a temporary resident until Spring arrives. The third is my favorite, the second the most deceptive, the first...I just think of those stupid people that stick their tongues on cold metal bars and get them stuck until someone call 9-1-1.
800 points for a haiku, then a story must be worth 20,000...I'll enter a story, lol.
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Thanks! I like the title too, and usually I suck at titles.
Didn't fall this Winter, yet, not on a sidewalk anyway, the frozen weather made me fall from my bike, wait, not the weather, my stupidity, no, I'm not stupid, I'll blame my imprudence or just the State
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ahhhhh... wonderful writes. THESE!!! ARE real haiku. Wonderful moments in time with excellent ah-haaas to them.
One small suggestion though.... I would use "the" in L2 in referring to "the" moon. Just thinking out loud.
The second two are amazing images that really work well. Congrats on some very fine haiku writing.
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Thanks Don! I had fun with the thirsty dog
And yes, "the" instead of "a", after all we only know one moon, so far, I think
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LOLLLLL.... well, that's all I know... hahahahaaa
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